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Be My Valentine?

I’ve never done a lingerie post before…


The idea of putting my body out there to be picked apart, and being judged and slut shamed in the process has been something that has held me back and made me think that this type of post just wasn’t for me…


Then this sexy little number, a leopard print chemise from SexyPlus came my way, and it got me thinking…


With each fear I’ve conquered, I’ve become more powerful. I’ve become stronger, and more confident. I’ve gotten to know more about who I am, and what I deserve.


Sure, not everyone will approve. This will definitely ruffle a few feathers…


Many will judge, because that’s just what people do…


But… The reality is, I spent a lifetime hiding—sometimes to the point of physical discomfort, just to spare the world’s eyes of the parts of me that I felt were so appalling, that nobody should see.

 


So if this makes you uncomfortable, I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry because I don’t have to be… I never did, and I know that now.

 


I don’t need to show my body in order to prove anything to anyone. What feels empowering for me may not be what empowers you, and that’s okay… I choose to show it…  Not all of it, but most, because I have nothing to prove, but to myself, that I can be vulnerable, unapologetic, and not give a shit what anyone thinks of me. This is my own personal challenge. My body, my choice.


I’m not what society calls, a good fatty. I have rippled inner thighs, and a stretch mark covered belly that hangs down. I have sagging breasts, a double chin, and arms that jiggle when I raise them…


But I’m beautiful.

I’m worthy.

Right down to my back fat and dimpled butt.


So this year, I have asked myself, will you be my valentine?

As much as I love my husband, and thank him dearly for snapping these gorgeous shots that have made me feel so bold and strong… My answer to myself is, yes!


Yes I will be my valentine, because sometimes self-love deserves to be celebrated too, and this Valentine’s Day, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!! ❤️


Chemise, SexyPlus Clothing – here

Bra, Hips & Curves – here

Panties, Hips & Curves – here

The Final Curve

5 years ago, I probably would have laughed in your face if you told me that one day I’d be saying that my VBO (visible belly outline) is sexy. And like, not just an uncomfortable giggle… I mean, a full on, straight from the gut, you-must-be-off-your-rocker kind of laugh.


Who knew I would ever be able to utter the words “I love my belly” without resentful sarcasm!?  I certainly never would have believed it — but here I am, looking at my soft, protruding, B-belly, like, “dammmmn!!!” *wink/weirdly opened mouth/awkward head nod*


I’m not about to shout from the rooftops that I’ll never wear shapewear again, because I do still love the look and feel of a tight, somewhat smooth bod under my clothes sometimes, and there’s nothing wrong with that…

 


But, I will say this: I am never going to be uncomfortable displaying my belly when and how I please, because I don’t need to hide it to feel sexy!!! It’s soft, round, and jiggles when I walk, but so do my boobs and my butt, and I love those! So it’s time to embrace the final curve!!!


As it goes with most of my body acceptance accomplishments, it usually begins with a great outfit!

These amazing, faux leather trimmed leggings and black mesh top from SexyPlus are so gorgeous!!! They’re the perfect pieces for a night out dancing, or for casually layering, as I’ve done under this beautiful kimono from Zelie For She.


Paired with some simple grey flats, silver accessories, and a fabulous felt hat from Addition Elle this summer, the all black pieces underneath give amazing detail and texture to the whole look!


  
And of course, my newest favourite accessory — my VBO!!!

Mesh top, SexyPlus Clothing – here (on sale!!!)

Leggings, SexyPlus Clothing – similar

Duster, Zelie For She – similar

Hat, Addition Elle – here

Shoes, Walmart – similar

Harem Pants For The Tummy Conscious

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So, I like to browse my blog’s search terms from time to time (okay, a lot).

For those of you who don’t know what these are, they are the terms that people type into their search engines which lead them to clicking on my blog, and you can believe me when I say that many if these terms are downright hilarious! I’ve seen search terms going from “fat nude white girl” all the way to “big black sexy naked beauty.”

Yup. Nudity is almost always in there somewhere; but the second most common search terms I see go something along the lines of “how to wear plus size harem pants.”

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I gather, from how often these search terms come up, that harem pants continue to be a coveted, yet intimidating style among the full figured community, and I totally understand. I was, at one time very much nervous about wearing them too.

See, and I know I’ve discussed this with you many times before, I have a serious case of the bum-tum (tummy that looks like a second butt in the front), and harem pants have proven to be a huge struggle to pull off (not literally off, that part is easy).

I wrote another post a while back (here) about with a tip on wearing a peplum top, or belt to help disguise your tummy. I still love this idea, but I’ve come up with another.

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As you can see, I’ve paired the same harem pants (Forever 21+) from my other post, with this absolutely delicious blue, vintage style tee from Addition Elle; and instead of tucking it in and putting my belly on display, I’ve left it untucked, except for a small bit of it on one side. This way, you have nearly full tummy coverage while still showing off the signature high waist and pockets of the pants at the same time. It’s the best of both worlds!

Pair the ensemble with colourful flats and a bright handbag for a casual, chic, put together look that incorporates the on trend look of harem pants with the comfort of knowing you’re tummy is hidden.

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Pants, Forever 21+
Top, Addition Elle – here
Shoes, Walmart
Sunnies, Forever 21 – here
Handbag, Cettu
Earrings, Forever 21 – here

Harem Pants

Harem Pants

I don’t know about you, and I know everyone is shaped differently; but depending on what I wear, I have, what I like to call “bumtum”. Bumtum, you ask?

Definition of Bumtum: noun \?b?m?t?m\
When your tummy takes on the appearance of a bum when wearing clothes (usually pants) with a seam up the front, thus giving the impression that you not only have butt in the back, but one in the front, too.

So, now that that’s cleared up, lets talk about harem pants. They are everywhere, and have been trending for a while now.  But I’ve been hesitating, and if you’re anything like me, you’ll understand, they can be a bit tricky, because not only are they high-waisted, they also have saggy fronts which can only accentuate your bumtum!  That being said, don’t give up hope!!!  With a little help from shapewear (which I briefly discussed my love/hate relationship with, in my recent post, “Fat Girl Problems“) and the right top or belt, it is possible to make them work!

When I saw these leopard print harem pants from Forever21+ I knew they would be a challenge, but I just wanted to try so badly!!!  I quickly realized that they would be more difficult to wear than I had thought…  My Spanx alone just weren’t cutting it.  I had to break out the big guns and wear my faux leather peplum belt from Addition Elle, which I had nabbed about a year ago, but never really found the right way to wear.  I had tried a couple of looks with it, but they just always looked off, somehow.  Anyway, I figured it was worth a shot, so I went for it, and I think it was exactly what these pants needed!  Since they have a very bold cut and pattern, and the belt is also quite a statement on it’s own, I went with a very simple black top, and black & gold flats to draw some of the attention away from my mostly disguised bumtum.  I can’t say that I was able to hide it completely, but I definitely felt confident with the end result; and, who am I trying to fool, anyhow?  It’s not like having a flatter tummy would trick anyone into thinking I’m skinny!  Haha!

So my advice to you is, if you are a fellow bumtum sufferer, and are looking to try and get in on the harem pant trend:  Always wear shapewear underneath, and try to find a great peplum belt, like this one, or a cute peplum top, which you can belt or wear on its own.  The reality is, with just about every look, even if you think it won’t flatter your body, it never hurts to try, because you may actually be surprised with what you can do to make it work for you!