Dear woman who tried to shame my body today,
There are a few things I’d like to say to you — a few things that I think you need to know; and I will lace my words with an excessive amount of photos of my glorious bod in a hot pink, see-through dress and bright red bikini, because I think it would do you good to see more of the body you decided to pick apart on social media today.
As a blogger, in one of my weekly contributions to another blog, I was asking followers to help me pick between three outfits that I chose for an upcoming date night with my husband. I think I looked really cute in all of them, for the record — and, sometimes a girl just wants a little feedback!
I answered you so politely when you criticized body. I told you that “I love my belly, my big butt, and my cellulite, as does my hubby! They’re part of me — no need to hide them! 😊 It’s not about looking thinner. The beauty of body acceptance is learning to love our flaws! ❤️”
You’re welcome to disagree with my view points and clothing choices all you want, but never once did I mention anything about your thoughts on my outfits. I also didn’t get upset… In fact, I think I gave a pretty polite and friendly response that spoke only of how I wasn’t ashamed of my body parts that you seemed to feel weren’t attractive.
You, a plus size woman yourself, stated that you were entitled to your opinion, then proceeded to tell me that loving my body was a copout because I am too lazy to try to better myself and my health. (Really, you said it!)
When I, again very politely, explained that I am in very good health, and wished you would realize that your comment was judgemental and uncalled for, you said that I must not be as secure as I claim to be because I was being defensive and over-sensitive.
You went on to say that that you had balls, and stood by your opinion… And that I shouldn’t be a blogger if I didn’t like it — somehow believing that it is your right to police my body, call me names, be blatantly rude, and that, because I have a blog, I’m not supposed to call you on it.
Others jumped to my defence, but you attacked them too, and laughed at the whole situation, referring to a comment I had posted for someone else, explaining to them how taking back the word ‘fat’ had empowered me.
I politely excused myself from the conversation, stating that your perseverance was admirable, that you had so much potential, and I wished you could have used it to uplift your fellow women rather than tear them down.
Soon after, your comment was removed. Obviously nobody was in agreement with your insults disguised as opinions, and false sense of entitlement… So, my apologies if the events may seem a little out of sequence, because again, your comment was deleted, which took all of your, my, and everyone else’s carefully crafted rebuttals with it, leaving me with only my tear-filled (sarcasm, in case you didn’t pick up on that) memories to refer to. You are entitled to your opinion, let’s just get that out of the way so you don’t have to say it again, but I will not let you believe, when you attack my body and character then accuse me of being insecure when I respond, that I can’t see right through your smug facade, to a woman who is filled with self-doubt, insecurity, envy and fear.
I will also not allow you make me love myself any less than I did before reading your enlightening comments — in fact, they’ve made me love myself more! You see, when you show your true colours, and they’re dim, grey and muddy, they make mine shine much brighter.
What you thought would stop me really just propelled me forward, and reaffirmed how important my blogging truly is.
So what I’m really saying here, is thank you. Thank you for making me feel even more beautiful, secure, and important today.
I know your intention was to make yourself feel better by trying to bring me down, so I’m sorry (not sorry) that I couldn’t help, but I would gladly love to offer you a compliment if you ever decide to actually post a profile picture of yourself one day. I’m sure you have all kinds of beauty that you just don’t see when you look in the mirror.
And lastly, even though your attempts at hurting me failed miserably, I hope you come to understand that not everyone is as strong and confident as me. Not everyone will be able to take something wonderfully positive away from the experience of having a person try to publicly humiliate them; and not everyone will understand that your attempts at trashing their self-esteem, are really just projections of your own insecurities.
Bikini, Addition Elle – here
Bonjour !!! It’s the 16th of the month once more, which by now, you should all know, means it’s time for the French Curves Challenge – an outfit photo challenge with the French touch, created by always lovely, Vanoue, of The Curvy and Curly Closet.
If you don’t speak French, you know I’ve still got you! As always, an English translation will follow, just scroll down!!!
Il est le 16 du mois !!! Temps pour un nouveau French Curves Challenge – la collaboration entre les blogueuses francophones de taille plus, crée par la toujours belle, Vanoue, de The Curvy and Curly Closet.
Ceci marque le deuxième anniversaire du challenge, et malgré que j’ai seulement commencer à participer cette année, je suis très fière d’être ici pour fêter cette joyeuse occasion avec Vanoue et les French Curvettes!
Le thème ce mois-ci: La Dolce Vita
Je n’ai jamais vu le film italien de Fellini, mais la douceur de vivre, ou bien, la belle vie n’est pas difficile à imaginer, car la beauté de notre existance est partout autour de nous, meme si parfois, dans la tristesse et le chagrin, on ne le remarque pas.
Pour payer hommage à cette vie douce, je me suis retrouvé dans un beau petit jardin pas loin de chez moi, que j’ai probablement passé 1000 fois, sans jamais vraiment le remarquer, entouré de fleurs et de feuilles, vêtu en blanc et turquoise.
Robe, Penningtons – ici
Foulard, Penningtons – ancien (mais j’adore celui la)
And now, for my English readers!
The theme this month: La Dolce Vita
I’ve never seen the Italian film by Fellini, but the sweet life, or the good life, aren’t hard to imagine because the beauty of our existence is everywhere around us, even if at times, in sadness and heartbreak, we fail to take notice of it.
To pay homage to this sweet life, I found myself in a pretty little garden not far from my place, that I’ve probably passed a thousand times without ever really paying it any mind, surrounded by flowers and leaves, and dressed in white and turquoise.
Actually, I’ve already worn this look in one of my articles for The Penningtons Blog, but I love it so much that I wanted to recreate it for my own.
Even though the retro film is completely in black & white, I think I succeeded in capturing its essence of glamour and joie de vivre, in Technicolor.
Dress, Penningtons – here
Scarf, Peningtons – old (but I love this)
Shoes, ASOS – here
Be sure to check out all my fellow French Curvettes here!
It’s been a fun couple of weeks over on The Penningtons Blog!
In one post, I got to take their 5-way bra for a spin and see how it worked with five different outfits to suit each way.
And then in my latest post, I got to style one piece, three ways — perfect for when you’re packing light on vacation!
Wedding season is in full swing. Every weekend I see a blissful newlywed couple posing for their wedding photos along the water not far from where I Iive.
With, at the very least, a wedding or two to attend each summer, we inevitably scope out the dress scene!
Of course, it’s all about the blushing bride’s dress — obvi; and the handsome groom too… But I still like to make a statement. After all, you’re bound to bump into at least one ex, or common girlfriend who talked behind your back that one time, and whom you absolutely can’t stand, and now you need to look extra hot in front of — err… Maybe that’s just me…? *nervous laugh*
But anyway, there’s no harm in bringing your A game to a wedding, because let’s face it… At some point during the evening, at least some eyes will be on you!
Searching for the perfect dress can seem a daunting task, but that’s why I love Canadian owned (and internationally shipping) SexyPlus Clothing!
The owner (and absolute dollface), Stefanie (a plus size woman herself) has curated a wonderful collection of dresses in all styles to suit your wedding season (or any season) needs, so you don’t have to search. She just gets it.
This gorgeous and luxurious little black & white number is actually a convertible dress that can also be worn strapless. I must admit though, my favourite of the two is this classic halter style.
I paired it with a cute head scarf, cork wedges, and a vintage metallic mesh clutch that I thrifted (kachiiiiing) earlier this summer!
It’s chic, old world sexy, and perfect for a wedding, or any occasion!
So definitely take a peek at the selection over at SexyPlus! There are so many gorgeous dresses! Whether your style is elegant, or super sassy, you’ll be sure to find something that’s just perfect for you!
Dress, SexyPlus Clothing – here (also a available in white – here)
Bangles, Fashion to Figure – similar
Head scarf, Walmart – similar
It was one of those moments… In New York City, the hustle and bustle of folks rushing past, each with their own stories — their own places to be.
But in this instant, this was my place. I had nowhere to go, I was already there, and all I wanted was to bask in my moment.
It’s an interesting thing, walking through the streets of Manhattan in a bright pink tutu.
Mostly though, people just walked briskly past, giving a quick glance, and returning to their fixed-eyed, onward-bound stares as they continued to where they had to go.
But for me… Time stood still. The yellow cabs whizzed by, cars honked and pedestrians whirred about, each, undoubtedly with somewhere very important to be… It was all just a blur — a dazzling kaleidoscope of colours and light.
My playful and whimsical accessories, a bag that my mum picked up for me as a donation to The Humane Society of Canada, a gorgeous gold hoop necklace from Fashion To Figure, and my adorable alphabet bracelet from Ready To Stare, creating the perfect balance between fairy princess and Times Square funk…
I was a little awestricken and overcome with the untold stories around me… But amidst all that commotion, as the humid breeze blew through the tulle of my skirt, I knew that mine, was only beginning.
P.S. I’m basically fat Carrie Bradshaw now.
Skirt, The Tutu Experience – here (ask about the Flight of the Fat Girl cut [extra $])
Blouse, Addition Elle – here
Shoes, Jessica Simpson from Addition Elle – sold out, love these
Bracelet, Ready To Stare – here
Necklace, Fashion To Figure – here
To find out more info on pet adoption, spay and neutering, or how you can donate, visit your local Humane Society or check out their website!
Canada – www.humanesociety.com
USA – www.humanesociety.org
Has this ever happened to you…? You have an event to attend, you’ve picked out a killer ensemble, and then at the last minute, it looks like it might rain, so your whole outfit game gets thrown off and you’ve gotta come up with something cute, and fast!!!
That’s exactly what happened to me while I was in New York with my husband last weekend, on the day of The CurvyCon, because being drenched in a pink tutu in the middle of Manhattan just didn’t seem like a solid plan for attending an event like this day long convention for bloggers, fashion lovers, and curvy girls alike, created by thee Chastity Garner Valentine, of Garner Style!
I did, however have a fabulous back up plan, which honestly, ended up being one of my favourite, most effortless looks yet — and even though it didn’t actually end up raining, I regret nothing!!!
I paired a great pair of dark wash skinnies with one of my fave new tees, and a fab striped blazer from Penningtons. I love how chic these three pieces looked together — you could hardly even tell that I was completely frazzled about what to wear only moments before!
With the addition of the most adorable printed espadrille flatforms from ASOS, my new Tom Ford specs, some minimalist gold threader earrings from Forever 21, a gorgeous kelly green Kate Spade clutch, and la pièce de la résistance — this freakin’ amazeballs car ring from Ready to Stare, I walked through the revolving doors of my hotel feeling like I owned the city!
Once again, we hit the streets in style with my blogger boo, of Tall Tales by Ramona O, and we grabbed brunch and got in a little photo shoot!
And check out how handsome my photographer — errr… My hubby looked!!!
After that, we hailed a cab and headed off to The CurvyCon! It was awesome to bump dimpled elbows with some of our favourite fellow plus size bloggers, models, business women, celebs like my boo thang, Sabrina Servance of Lifetime’s Big Women Big Love, and the stunning Amber Riley, best known for her role as Mercedes Jones on Glee, as well as check out showcases from some awesome brands like Fashion To Figure, Rebdolls, and the breakout line Eleven60, which, can I just say — go on now, take my money!!!
The day was full of giggles, hugs and selfies! The hubs even snapped this awesome, super awful photo of Ramona and I once we got inside! Haha! I promise you, we are not as unhappy as we look, just feeling that NYC humidity! Hehee! I had to share! :P
Be sure to check out Ramona’s post about our NYC takeover, here!
Jeans, Penningtons – here
T-shirt, Penningtons – here
Blazer, Penningtons – sold out (wahhh!)
Shoes, ASOS – sold out, but a whole bunch of similar styles here
Clutch, Kate Spade – similar
Car ring, Ready To Stare – several styles here
I’ve been busy over on The Penningtons Blog! Last week, I styled some fabulous dresses for day and nighttime! (That white one? Yeah, that one is mine now!!!)
So head on over to The Penningtons Blog to see what I’ve been up to, and of course, for all the deets on the amazing ensembles!!!
All looks from Penningtons – here