Tagged: fatty

Silly Little Reminders Of A Not So Silly Reality 

A little while ago I took a brief, unplanned blogging hiatus. I had been feeling extremely exhausted, I’d been sick, and I was also dealing with some stressful family stuff as well. I kept meaning to blog, and went to bed each night with the idea that tomorrow’s going to be the day, but no matter how much I tried to convince myself, I always just ended up putting it off because something inside of me just wouldn’t let me be productive. 

That’s all I thought it was… Just me procrastinating, but when I look back on those couple of months, the reality was that I was having a bit of an anxiety induced melt down. I was still functioning— going about the motions, putting a brave face on, but inside I was at the point of breaking down. 

I did my best to remember to keep up with those little self-care rituals that helped keep me sane. I cooked, cleaned, took care of my kids. I took bubble baths, got my nails done, but my struggle with blogging slowly began to weigh on me… I started resenting it, because I hated the feeling of having an obligation, even if it was self-imposed. 


It’s strange because, I love being a blogger. Blogging is at the top of my list of self-care activities because it makes me feel good, from getting made up and dressed in beautiful clothes, right down to the writing process, which I find calming and therapeutic… So why was I running away from it!? 


The answer: because I was in denial about what I was really running from. It was much simpler to tell myself that I was taking a nap instead of blogging, rather than taking it to avoid my own thoughts, not to mention that writing would have forced me to confront myself about how I was feeling. In that moment, my only defence mechanism was to flee my own brain altogether.  


You may be wondering what all of this has to to with this dusty pink/blush coloured dress I’m wearing… It’s such a silly little thing, yet it’s all I can think of when I look at these photos… My nails don’t match it. 


I had purchased it (as well as in another colour) from ASOS as an attempt to rekindle my blogging spirit. I remember being excited because I had gotten my nails done in the exact same pink to match. I never shot any blog pics though. Hell, I never even wore it, and my nails grew out. Still determined, I got my refill and asked for the exact same colour again! Dusty pink nails, take two, but again, I just couldn’t make myself get dressed for a shoot. Slowly, they grew out once more and I forgot about the dress. 


At some point in May, I came out of this difficult period. I had blogging obligations and had no choice but to fulfill them. Once I started back at it, the anxiety was lifted. I remembered that this wasn’t some cruel form of punishment, but rather an activity that fills me with joy!


It felt like coming home, and I couldn’t believe that for a while there, I had even debated going ghost on my followers. I had felt unable to keep the blog up, but feared the imagined humiliation of actually formally excusing myself from the community and exposing myself as a failure who just couldn’t cut the mustard.


I’m glad I didn’t, because getting up every morning, getting dressed, and maintaining the dialogue with myself that blogging requires me to uphold was what helped bring me back; and my followers, your kind words upon my return were more uplifting than you can imagine! I have once again been given the gift of being reminded of just how much support I have through blogging, and the amazing body positive community. 


So even though my manicure doesn’t match my dress, I wanted to wear it as a very personal symbol of the power we all have to give another person hope, encourage them when they feel hopeless, and raise them up when they’re feeling low, and also as a reminder that anxiety and mental illness are invisible. 


Coming from a person who, in the moment, when things get tough, is very guarded, and tends to withdraw into herself, you may think someone looks fine. They may smile, engage in conversation and list all the right reasons for why they’ve been acting a little differently— I’m just tired, I’ve been sick, I’ve been busy, etcetera etcetera… But it can be next to impossible to notice when those reasons begin to spill over into something more debilitating. 


I was fortunate that this was just a minor bout with anxiety brought on by temporary stressors, and solvable problems that pale in comparison to those of others, but not everyone is so lucky. Not everyone has an amazing support system, or are able to recognize when it’s time to seek professional help. 


So, like this dress and my mismatched mani remind me, let me remind you to be kind, because your words can have more on an impact on a person’s life than you may ever realize. Remember that someone’s struggles may seem trivial to you, but are very real to that person, so be mindful. You can never truly know how someone is feeling inside, unless they are willing and able to express it, which I can tell you honestly, isn’t an easy thing to do. 


Dress, ASOS Curve – here 

Shoes, Aldo – here  

Bag, Louis Vuitton – here 

Necklace & Earrings, Walmart – old
 

Why I Wear White 

I used to be afraid to wear white. I loved the way it looked on others, clean and crisp, but on myself, I thought all it did was exaggerate my flaws and make me look like a refrigerator. I did everything to remain inconspicuous back then, assuming that being noticed equaled being laughed at. Needless to say,  I never really wore much white. 



I think a lot of women have had similar feelings towards white. We are taught that it makes us look bigger, and we all know that’s the worst thing a person could ever be, right? Ugh… 


That’s the problem though… From very early on, as soon as the world realizes we’re fat, we are given this set of rules to live by, which are drilled into our brains so deeply that we forget how ridiculous they are, and we end up truly believing them. 



Society is sitting there thinking they’re doing us some wonderful favour by teaching us how not to look fatter than we already are, while its really they, who are in need of a lesson, oh, perhaps on how not to be a complete A-hole? Yeah. That sounds about right.


So I wear white proudly now. I wear it as two middle fingers to the rules that have been laid down by generations of self-loathing people before me who never knew the joy of unapologetic self-love.


I wear it because, unlike society, I don’t believe that looking bigger is among the greatest of all evils. 


And most of all, I wear it because I love it. I always have, and it makes me feel beautiful! 


No fictional set of rules will ever be able to convince me otherwise. I make my own rules about my bod, how I dress it, and nobody can take that away from me!!! 


Top, Tess Holliday for Penningtons – here 

Jean capris, Penningtons – similar 

Scarf, Penningtons – here 

Shoes, Aldo – here 

Clutch, Aldo – here 

Post-it Notes

Every once in a while, I get an amazing reminder that I deserve to love myself as much as anybody else does. This time it came in the form of this stunning, sequins embellished dress from SexyPlus Clothing. 


Seeing beautiful pieces like this reminds me just how far plus size fashion has come since I was growing up and struggling to find clothes that didn’t make me look like my grandmother (no shade, granny got style— just not mine). 


It may only be a little black dress, but this Joseph Ribkoff design is in no way ordinary. The sparkle, the detail, and the curve-hugging style scream look at me!!!! 


The simple fact that options like this exist now, which are very obviously not designed to mask our bodies, but to celebrate them, is proof that the world is recognizing that us fatties are refusing to hide in the shadows any longer!


We have the right to be viewed and admired if we wish it, and most of all, to feel worthy of wearing the fabulous clothes that we love without thinking we are somehow undeserving of style because we’re overweight. 

I know we’re not quite there yet when it comes to inclusivity, but I’m more than happy to rejoice in tangible victories like this dress, because bold, attention grabbing pieces validate my belief that I, as a plus size woman, am worthy of shining, turning heads, and feeling sexy. 

Obviously, I don’t need that validation, but it sure is nice to have it. It feels good to know that all those years I spent being crushed over not being able to wear what I wanted are behind me, and that speaking up in the name of fat women everywhere hasn’t been in vain. It feels good to be heard. 


All of this is to say, be aware of those reminders, life’s little Post-it notes telling you to remember that the frustrations of your past were for a reason, and your hopes for the future are possible! 


While you’re at it, let me remind you that you are important. You are worthy, and your existence, fat, thin, or anything in between, has more meaning and influence than you may ever even know…


Dress your body the way you want to, wear the clothes that make you feel beautiful, do the things that make you feel empowered and strong!



Be grateful when your opinions are validated, but never depend on that validation to come from anyone but you. Remember that to love yourself, you must listen to yourself. Don’t dismiss your feelings because you think you don’t deserve to have them… I did that for a very long time, and one of the greatest gifts I’ve given to myself has been allowing myself the right to acknowledge how I feel as a fat person, with a voice as true as anybody else’s. 

Dress, Joseph Ribkoff from SexyPlus – here 

Shoes, Aldo – here

Clutch, vintage 

 

My Montréal + Fashion Week Score

Well, it was a success!!! Montréal + Fashion Week, which took place last weekend and brought diversity and visibility to the plus size scene in my amazing city, was an absolute honour to be a part of! 

Although it was super scary, I managed face my fears and host alongside Emily Roy, the creator of the event, (without passing out) all while draped in the showstopping designs of Pheline Couture and Amadora JewelryWe showcased a fantastic selection of brands at the fashion show on Friday evening, ranging from active wear, evening wear, to bridal, and our models, including my boo, Sabrina Servance of Big Women Big Love, the beautiful Rosie Mercado, and Montreal’s own Joby Bach, along with an entire lineup of inspiring women, totally ripped the runway!!! 

Saturday, after coming down from the euphoria of such a high energy event, I enjoyed day one of the Montréal + Fashion Week sale expo where one particular piece really caught my attention—this gorgeous hot pink leopard print dress from i.b.b.i. Collection!


It was more on the pricey side, but I tried it on and instantly fell in love! I knew I couldn’t leave without it.

The quality of this garment is beyond superior. Luxury plus size clothing lines are few and far between, but i.b.b.i. Collection is getting it right! It’s really exciting to see more high end options available to the plus size consumer, because for a very long time, our choices were extremely limited. There is a whole world of curvy women out there just waiting to drop some dollars on some luxury pieces and I love that there are companies like i.b.b.i. who are taking notice of this! 

 I was honestly really impressed by the whole line, and if my wallet had permitted it, I would have walked out with an armful of fabulous frocks; but I definitely went home with my favourite one of the bunch!As I was trying it on, already wearing a thick gold chain, Rosie Mercado, the face of i.b.b.i., pointed out how great it looked with the dress. Needless to say, when I rocked it out on day two of the sale expo, I wore it with my fave piece of bling, this extravagant, layered chain necklace from Ready To Stare, a designer whose jewelry seems to have been made to pair with leopard print! 

These golden baubles and a simple pair of embellished, black leather flats from Aldo, and my look was complete! 


Even Rosie approved! 


I look forward to seeing which brands come out to play next year at Montréal + Fashion Week, and I am definitely looking forward to all the places I will wear my new dress! 

A huge thank you to my bestie, Crystal, for snapping these awesome graffiti shots! 

Check out more of Pheline designs at Pheline.ca or on Facebook and Instagram

Amadora Jewelry at Amadorajewellery.com

Dress, i.b.b.i. Collection – here 

Chain necklace, Ready To Stare – here 

Shoes, Aldo – here 

More On Montreal + Fashion Week (And My Wedding Anniversary Too)

As promised, my next few posts will be all about Montreal + Fashion Week — a bilingual weekend-long event celebrating plus size fashion, beauty, and style, taking place this May 20th-22nd at the Crowley Arts Centre, but today’s post is extra special! 

My husband and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary today, and I thought I’d take this opportunity to show off the arm candy I’ll be toting around with me at the even next month! (Yes! Boys are welcome to the event, so if you’re planning on bringing yours along too, be sure to get him a ticket when you purchase yours!)


I’ve been blessed to have married a man who is, not only my best friend in the entire world, as well as an incredible artist, but is also as style obsessed (if not more) than I am! I mean, this guy can dress, and I freaking love it! 

He also has a profound appreciation for, and understanding of plus size fashion (although the I credit myself for that part). 

I’m am also blessed that this lace dress from SexyPlus Clothing came into my life, because let’s face it, I look pretty hot in it, and my hubby agrees!




When Montreal + Fashion Week rolls around this May, you will be seeing us both there all weekend!  


If you’re coming for the fashion show, to the fabulous sale expo, to hear some of our inspirational speakers, or if you’re taking in the entire event because you’re just a boss like that, I’d be willing to bet that at some point, you’ll bump into us, doing what we do best, being awkward (me) and snapping pics of me being awkward (him)! 

Whether you’ll be wearing your man on your arm, or saving that space for more shopping bags, we are looking forward to seeing you there, and adding Montreal + Fashion Week to next year’s list of memories as we celebrate another year of surviving each other as husband and wife! 


Montreal + Fashion Week tickets available here (English) or here (French). 

For more details visit www.montrealplusfashionweek.com, and remember to follow @montreal.plus.fashion.week on Instagram, and use that #MTLplusFWstyle to show us your fave looks for a chance to be featured! 


Dress, SexyPlus – here  

Shoes, Aldo – here 

Clutch, Aldo – here 

Montreal + Fashion Week Is Comiiing

As most of you know, I’m a Montreal girl, born and raised! I love my city, especially its rich history and diversity—a veritable melting pot of culture and language, and just an amazing place to call home! 

The plus size community here however, has faced many obstacles. We are a group of people desperately in need of the unity it takes to raise each other up and support one another, so when I was asked to join the first annual Montreal + Fashion Week team as the official blogger I was, how you say, f*cking exciteddddd!!! 

  
 
Led by the fabulous Emily Roy of the blog Entre Montréal et New York, and Nadine Moore of the plus size boutique Catapulp, and moi of course, Montreal + Fashion Week will be a celebration of plus size fashion, beauty, life and style, right here in my own beautiful city from May 20th-22nd. 

I’ve been helping out behind the scenes, and was lucky enough to attend all three model castings, first in Quebec City, then Toronto, and finally wrapping up right here in Montreal. It was such a blast to see all those beautiful babes show us how it’s done! 

With all that running around, I didn’t get a chance to do a post about what I wore, but luckily I managed to shoot my favourite look of the bunch this week! 

  

This fly AF quilted gold number from Your Big Sister’s Closet was what I wore to the Quebec City casting.

   
 
It’s literally everything… Like seriously!!! 

  
  
  
It’s total perfection paired with my fave pair of white jeans from Penningtons!

  
 
And with its edgy fabric and elegant cut, it may possibly be the most glorious springtime piece I’ve ever worn! Just saying.

  
  

Especially when accessorized with a little LV, some baubles from Aldo, and my chic Coach flats! 

  

  
  
  

  
The absolute ideal look to wear to a fashiony (yes, fashion-y) type event!

I hope to see all of you at Montreal + Fashion week! I’m really looking forward to meeting and mingling with my followers and plus size fashionistas, so be sure to get your tickets (here) before they’re gone, and come see me this May!!! 

For more details on the event, please visit: www.montrealplusfashionweek.com and check out the schedule here

Purchase tickets at here (English), or here (French). 

Be sure to stay tuned all this week and next, as I will be bringing you more info, special announcements and discussions about the event, as well as tips for making the most of your visit to Montreal if you’re coming from out of town! 

In the meantime, don’t forget to use the #MTLplusFWstyle hashtag on social media for a chance to be featured on @montreal.plus.fashion.week’s Instagram! 
  
Top, Your Big Sister’s Closet – similar 

Jeans, Penningtons – here 

Necklaces: Aldo – similar

Bag, Louis Vuitton – here 

Be My Valentine?

I’ve never done a lingerie post before… 

  
The idea of putting my body out there to be picked apart, and being judged and slut shamed in the process has been something that has held me back and made me think that this type of post just wasn’t for me…

  
Then this sexy little number, a leopard print chemise from SexyPlus came my way, and it got me thinking… 

  
With each fear I’ve conquered, I’ve become more powerful. I’ve become stronger, and more confident. I’ve gotten to know more about who I am, and what I deserve. 

  
Sure, not everyone will approve. This will definitely ruffle a few feathers… 

  
Many will judge, because that’s just what people do…

   

  
But… The reality is, I spent a lifetime hiding—sometimes to the point of physical discomfort, just to spare the world’s eyes of the parts of me that I felt were so appalling, that nobody should see. 

  

  
So if this makes you uncomfortable, I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry because I don’t have to be… I never did, and I know that now.

  

  
I don’t need to show my body in order to prove anything to anyone. What feels empowering for me may not be what empowers you, and that’s okay… I choose to show it…  Not all of it, but most, because I have nothing to prove, but to myself, that I can be vulnerable, unapologetic, and not give a shit what anyone thinks of me. This is my own personal challenge. My body, my choice. 

  
I’m not what society calls, a good fatty. I have rippled inner thighs, and a stretch mark covered belly that hangs down. I have sagging breasts, a double chin, and arms that jiggle when I raise them…

  
But I’m beautiful. 

I’m worthy. 

Right down to my back fat and dimpled butt. 

  
So this year, I have asked myself, will you be my valentine? 

As much as I love my husband, and thank him dearly for snapping these gorgeous shots that have made me feel so bold and strong… My answer to myself is, yes!

  
Yes I will be my valentine, because sometimes self-love deserves to be celebrated too, and this Valentine’s Day, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. 

Happy Valentine’s Day!!! ❤️

  
Chemise, SexyPlus Clothing – here 

Bra, Hips & Curves – here

Panties, Hips & Curves – here 

1 Body Chain, 2 Ways, and 2 Countries 

When I was away in Haiti last August, I managed to sneak in one one photo shoot. I never published the pictures, but there’s a reason why…

  

  

   
Everything was perfect—my Monif C. fringed swimsuit, my ASOS sandals, and of course, my Ready To Stare body harness… 

   

 
    

 

  

  
 
Perfect, except for the fact that I was wearing it wrong—because screwing up is kind of my thing… *sigh*

    

   

  

  

But the beach was exquisite, as was my beautiful fat bod in that suit, and honestly, even though I wore it wrong, the chain body harness actually looked pretty amazing this way too! 

   

  

  
So, I decided to shoot some fab pics back home in Canada, wearing it the right way this time (Duh!) with a fab Kiyonna dress from SexyPlus Clothing, to show everyone that you can definitely have some fun playing around with body chains! We’ll just keep the fact that this was a totally unintentional discovery between us, though… K?

  

  
  
   
 

We can also keep the fact that it took me nearly six months to get around to shooting the second half of this post… Because procrastination is also my thing…

  
  
  


But it all actually worked out, because the contrast between my natural, freckled skin under the golden Haitian sun, and my ultra glam look, set against the backdrop of an icy frozen lake, is truly quite amazing!
  

  
  

And the discovery that this body chain is much more versatile than I had ever expected was a definite bonus! 

  
  
  

Sure, I wish I was on a beach in Haiti again right now, after sifting through my vacation photos… But at least I know I have my body chain to add some pizazz to my swimsuits on my next trip, and until then, it can look just as awesome in the snow! 

  

Body harness, Ready To Stare – here 

Swimsuit, Monif C. – old

Sandals, ASOS – similar 

Dress, Kiyonna from SexyPlus – here 

Boots, SexyPlus Clothing – here 

Mittens, Little Burgundy – here 

Material (Fat) Girl

It’s not everyday you get to dress like Madonna—I mean, for me it isn’t anyway, (although I suppose I could if I really wanted to) but I’m always looking for an excuse! 

Imagine my glee upon finding out that the fabulous Beth Ditto, singer, plus size model, and lover of all things vintage, was launching a collection this February; and as a little “aperçu,” had teamed up with none other than Jean Paul Gaultier on a limited edition, collaboration t-shirt dress, featuring his iconic cone-bra bustier, worn by thee original Material Girl herself in the 90s, and whose image is etched permanently in the brains millenials everywhere! 

I had to splurge!!! I HAD have one!!! 

   
   

Not even the most bitterly cold temperatures and blisteringly frigid winds could stop me from showing it off and striking a pose today!  

   

I paired it with some awesome striped tights from Addition Elle, and my vintage Burberry trench…

   
 

But this tee is definitely the main attraction… 

  
   

 

 
Especially with its adorably sexy lace-up back, complete with the printed signatures of Ditto and Gaultier peeking out through the strings! 

  
  

A little gold bling, and my black patent flatforms sealed this whole look with a sassy little kiss of perfection…

  
  
  

And all I can say is, Vogue. 

  

T-shirt dress, Beth Ditto & Jean Paul Gaultier – here 

Tights, Addition Elle – here 

Trench, Burberry – vintage, new here

Shoes, ASOS – old, but love these

French Curves: THE STATEMENT NECKLACE 

It’s the 16th of the month, and after being on a little break for a couple of months, I am once again ready to get back into the French Curves Challenge – an outfit photo challenge with the French touch, created by the stunning Vanoue, of The Curvy and Curly Closet!

If you don’t speak French, I’ve got you, boo! As always, an English translation will follow, just keep scrolling down!!! 

  
Il est encore le 16 du mois, et après quelques mois de pause, je suis prêt à nouveau à participer au French Curves Challenge – la collaboration entre blogueuses francophones de taille plus avec la touche française, crée par la ravissante Vanoue, de The Curvy and Curly Closet !

Le thème ce mois-ci: THE STATEMENT NECKLACE

   

Un collier audacieux a le pouvoir de compléter n’importe quel look. 

  

  

  
Quand vous portez un, il est la première chose que tout le monde voit quand ils regardent votre tenue, et comme son nom l’indique, il envoient un message très clair qui déclare, je suis fabuleuse et je m’en fous qui le sait !!!

   
Ce collier splendide a été fait à la main par Djénéba, une femme malienne, incroyablement talentueuse, qui fabrique des bijoux merveilleux avec des matériaux provenant de son pays natal. 

   
    

  
La fabrication méticuleuse de ses  précieux bijoux est sa plus grande passion dans la vie, est ce-ci est très évident si vous avez la chance de visiter sa “caverne” remplie jusqu’au bout de perles scitillantes qu’elle a procuré petit à petit avec chaque retour au Mali pour visiter avec sa famille.

  

  
  
     

J’ai laissé le collier être la vedette du tenue, et je l’ai porté avec un look très simple et chic, mais avec assez de panache pour lui faire honneur. 

    

     


Un simple legging noir, et ma tunique asymétrique en tissu léopard extra-fin par Nadia Aboulhosn pour Addition Elle sont les pièces parfaites pour complimenter cet accessoire impressionnant !

 
   

  

  

Dans le style de Nadia, une chaussure à talon met la touche finale sur le look. 

   
N’oubliez pas de jeter un coup d’œil à tous les statement necklaces de les autres French Curvettes ici, ainsi que sur Facebook, et Instagram aussi ! Aussi, rappelez-vous d’utiliser les hashtags #FrenchCurvesOOTD et #FlightOfTheFatGirl sur touts vos looks de mode !!!
 

The theme this month: THE STATEMENT NECKLACE

A statement necklace has the power to complete any look. 

When you wear one, it’s the first thing everyone sees when they look at your outfit, and as the name suggests, they send a very clear message that you’re fabulous, and I don’t care who knows it!!!

This necklace was hand made by Djénéba, an incredibly talented Malian woman who crafts gorgeous jewelry with materials purchased in her home country. 

The meticulous craftsmanship of her jewelry is her greatest passion in life, and it’s very evident if you ever have the chance to visit her “cavern” filled to the gills with sparkling beads which she’s gathered, little by little, with each trip home to Mali to visit her family. 

I let the necklace be the star of this outfit, and I paired it with a super simple, chic look, but with enough pizzazz to do it justice. 

Simple black leggings, and my sheer, asymmetrical, leopard print tunic by Nadia Aboulhosn for Addition Elle are the perfect pieces to compliment this striking accessory!

And in true Nadia style, a pair of heels put the final touch on the look. 

Be sure to check out the statement necklaces on all the other French Curvettes here, as well as on Facebook, and Instagram too!!! Also, remember to use the hashtags #FrenchCurvesOOTD and #FlightOfTheFatGirl on all your style pics!!! 

Collier/necklace, La Caverne de Djénéba 

Tunique/tunic, Nadia Aboulhosn for Addition Elle – old 

Leggings/leggings, Addition Elle – similaire/similar 

Chaussures/shorts, Payless – Ici/here