For those of you who don’t know what these are, they are the terms that people type into their search engines which lead them to clicking on my blog, and you can believe me when I say that many if these terms are downright hilarious! I’ve seen search terms going from “fat nude white girl” all the way to “big black sexy naked beauty.”
Yup. Nudity is almost always in there somewhere; but the second most common search terms I see go something along the lines of “how to wear plus size harem pants.”
I gather, from how often these search terms come up, that harem pants continue to be a coveted, yet intimidating style among the full figured community, and I totally understand. I was, at one time very much nervous about wearing them too.
See, and I know I’ve discussed this with you many times before, I have a serious case of the bum-tum (tummy that looks like a second butt in the front), and harem pants have proven to be a huge struggle to pull off (not literally off, that part is easy).
I wrote another post a while back (here) about with a tip on wearing a peplum top, or belt to help disguise your tummy. I still love this idea, but I’ve come up with another.
As you can see, I’ve paired the same harem pants (Forever 21+) from my other post, with this absolutely delicious blue, vintage style tee from Addition Elle; and instead of tucking it in and putting my belly on display, I’ve left it untucked, except for a small bit of it on one side. This way, you have nearly full tummy coverage while still showing off the signature high waist and pockets of the pants at the same time. It’s the best of both worlds!
Pair the ensemble with colourful flats and a bright handbag for a casual, chic, put together look that incorporates the on trend look of harem pants with the comfort of knowing you’re tummy is hidden.
As the fall collections roll out (I’ll admit it, I’m excited), and the days start to noticeably shorten; as the back to school supplies hit the shelves and much to their chagrin, we begin mentioning to our kids that’s school will be starting again soon, it’s easy to forget that it’s still summer – at least for a little while longer here in Montreal.
To remind myself of this, I broke out my white Bermudas from Addition Elle, and 3/4 length sleeve, white blazer from Torrid, this weekend. I’d been waiting to wear them so my best friend’s baby shower on Saturday was the perfect occasion!
I paired the pieces with this lovely ombré, ruffled tank top, my trusty nude, T-strap flats, a vintage Berma Paris snakeskin clutch (circa 1975), my gold bangles, pretty stud earrings and a transparent, iridescent chain link necklace from Forever 21 that matched beautifully with the colours in my top.
This outfit was the perfect reminder that summer hasn’t ended yet, and as much fun as it is to start planning fall outfits, it’s better not to wish your life away, but rather to live in the moment sometimes, and get every little bit of pleasure from life in, while you can!
Yesterday was the day that I finally decided to debut my Louis Vuitton Speedy 40!!! It felt like bringing a new puppy home from the pet shop. I wanted to show the world to him and show him to the world all at the same time. It was glorious, regardless of the fact that my dry cleaning was stuffed inside… (What!? I had errands to run!!!)
When you’re planning to take the leap and purchase an investment bag, it’s always best to look around, ask questions and compare; after all, you want it to be perfect!
This bag is pure luxury, from the little details of its lock and keys, to its baby soft leather handles. I went with the Speedy because it’s just so iconic, and I decided on the 40cm, because big girl always looks good with a big bag!!!
Since I love mixing classic pieces with trendy ones, I paired it with my fabulous, new Parasuco acid wash jeans from Addition Elle, rolled up for a boyfriend look, and their Love & Legend, dusty mauve, graphic tee, which I sized up on, for an edgy, oversized look.
I just have to say it – this outfit is all about the belt! I mean, is this gorgeous African designed belt from Rue 114 not everything???
Its large, striking buckle is not only beautifully designed but, is also in the shape of “Gye Nyame”, a Ghanian, Adinkra symbol meaning ‘Except God (I fear none)’ or according to the Rue 114 website, ‘Accept God.’ I would assume (although I’m no expert) that its meaning is up for interpretation, based on the two spellings I’ve seen used, but regardless, this belt’s message is as beautiful as its design.
I’ve layered the belt over a gorgeous Michel Studio blazer (Addition Elle) and delicate, printed Cynthia Rowley blouse to really showcase it the way it deserves. A simple pair of white Capri trousers, a fabulous nude, patent loafer and a bold, magenta tote from Kate Spade New York complete the ensemble, for a classic, chic look with both a symbolic and modern twist.
I recently shared a Daily Mail article on my Facebook page, about how women are fat-shamed three times a day – a sad reality.
The outpouring of comments that I received truly touched me, because so many of you have dealt with being humiliated based on your sizes, just as I have in the past.
I was tormented by my peers in grade school. I endured teasing, name calling, cow noises… You name it. And when I look back, the saddest part of it all was the brave face I had to show till I got home and could cry into my pillow.
I thought the bullying of my school days was behind me, until coincidentally, last night I was publicly, and directly FAT SHAMED, while enjoying one of my favourite unhealthy treats, poutine; and for those of you who aren’t familiar, it’s a sinful Quebec specialty, consisting of French fries smothered in gravy, and curd cheese – definitely not waistline friendly, but it’s my weakness. That and an ice cold Coke.
I posted about it on Facebook almost as soon as it happened, because I was just so taken aback by it that I felt an overwhelming need to share it with all of you.
As many of you know, I recently shared an article on fat shaming, and your wonderful, and heartbreaking comments blew me away and really touched my heart. I haven’t been TRULY made fun of in many years, and just tonight, while eating out (poutine of all things) a drunk jerk made waddling and fat belly gestures at me and yelled out “oh yeah, eat that poutine” (in French). I thought I would have been less humiliated than I was, in all honesty, and while I’m not upset, I was really embarrassed, and felt like finishing my food in my car. I didn’t, but the fact that I thought about going to hide to finish my meal makes me realize I still have a lot of work to do.
Just thought I would share…
It felt like elementary school all over again. That feeling of being mortified doesn’t change. Same anxious ball of stress in the pit of my stomach, same feeling of fighting back tears, same anger. I had forgotten what it felt like to be coldly, and deliberately humiliated. I’ve been embarrassed in other life situations, due to my size, the mortifying airplane seatbelt check, for one; and people have made comments or assumptions that have bothered me. “You really shouldn’t eat that”, or servers in restaurants asking me if I want Diet, when I odered a Coke – like, would you ask a skinny person that if she ordered it? Maybe, but when you ask me, I can feel your judgement as I say “no, a regular Coke, please”. Is it so unbelievable that I would want to treat myself to something that I love?
Now, I know that the server could have just been checking, to make sure she got my order right. And yes, it’s possible that it had nothing to do with my weight; but here’s the problem – fat shaming has now become so ingrained in people’s minds, that they do it unknowingly, without even realizing that they’ve been programmed to see us as weak, undisciplined, incompetent, and unworthy.
Big words, I know. And I’m sure my server had no idea how she was making me feel, and probably never thought of herself as someone who humiliated fat people, because society as a whole had told her that viewing me that way was normal.
The @#$hole last night, was doing it on purpose, his buddies snickering along with him, and I’m ashamed to admit it, but all I could do was look down and pretend I didn’t hear them.
Like is said,
I still WE STILL have a lot of work to do, because through years of humiliation, we’ve learned to just accept being laughed at; and I know we’ve probably all been the victims of our own imaginations before, but the double takes in the street for eating an ice cream cone, or when you can’t fit in the booth at a restaurant and the other patrons can’t help but steal a second glance at the fat girl trying to squeeze in, the walk of shame to a different table as people whisper amongst themselves, they’re real. That @#$hole in the street – he was real.
But we’re real too; and we deserve to be treated just like everybody else.
Although I’m disappointed in myself for not speaking up last night, I know that I’ve come a long way. The journey continues, and I’m so thankful to have all of you, my amazing followers, alongside me for the ride!
So, I grabbed lunch and a coffee (by coffee, I mean iced green tea, loaded with sugar, cancelling out all possible health benefits) with my favourite ladies yesterday; and I decided to wear one of the newest additions to my closet – this sassy, blush coloured muscle tee from Forever 21+, with the words “eat your heart out” printed across the front.
I paired it with a simple black pencil skirt with waist detail, but I wanted to glam my look up a bit, so I accessorized with this gorgeous iridescent necklace, which looks ridiculously like real opals (swoon), bracelets, as always, and these adorable round, nude framed sunnies which I just picked up on sale at Forever 21, and I absolutely adore!
Well, I’ve been working up the courage to actually get out there and do a photo shoot in swimwear, and believe me, the struggle has been real! So real, that this amazing Sexy Lips midkini from swimsuitsforall.com has been sitting in a drawer since I purchased it at the beginning of the summer.
But I’ve been so inspired by bloggers like Garner Style, who rocked the hell out of a black and white bikini (and made me fall in love with round sunglasses & body chains and was totally the inspiration for my look today), as well as my amazing followers who are so confident and gorgeous, that it was about time that I face my fat girl fears, and do a photo shoot in my very own fatkini!!!
I’ve paired it with two separate, but matching, black, sheer coverup pieces, which I love the idea of, because this way you can cover up less or more depending on the heat of the sun, or how cool the breeze is too. Also, it allows for a more modest option without sacrificing style, if, as was my experience at a beach resort in Haiti, you are required to cover up on top to go into a beachfront restaurant.
No swimwear look would be complete without the right accessories, so I went with my favourite gold, metallic flip flops, big gold hoops, my bangles, (no surprise there) and this fantastic body chain from Forever 21 (note, this is not a plus size piece, so I removed the chain link that connected the two shoulder pieces in the back and replaced it with a longer chain for a better fit).
It really took a lot for me to share these photos with all of you; and I only hope that I can inspire someone who, like me, felt that she wasn’t “perfect” enough to be seen this way. I hope to show that regardless of stretch marks, cellulite, and fat rolls, we can still be beautiful, confident, and enjoy a day at the beach, or an afternoon, poolside like me, in our own backyards, just as any other woman would.
I’m truly am feeling fabulous and empowered in my fatkini and this definitely won’t be my last one!!!
With the Jazz Fest having just wrapped up and Just For Laughs in full swing, one of my favourite festivals – Nuits D’Afrique (African Nights) is just getting started!
There is something magical and intoxicating about seeing busy city streets completely closed down to vehicles, just buzzing with people and activity (and plenty of booze)!!!
So tonight, as the hubby and I take in some of the best of what summer has to offer, I’ll be hitting the streets in this bright, vibrant, hot pink colour block dress (my favourite style, in case you haven’t noticed) from Posh Shoppe! I love its off the shoulder styling, and the black mesh inserts are everything!
I’ve paired this fabulous frock with my fave nude flats and neon yellow, beaded bib necklace (still available I’m neon coral) from Forever 21, for a fun, eye catching look that’s perfect for an evening downtown, taking in the wonderful sights and sounds of Africa right here in the beautiful, culture rich city of Montreal!!!
I’m a lucky girl!!!
Oooufff! These past couple of weeks have had me so busy, I’ve barely had the time to put on a decent outfit worth taking pictures of, let alone write a blog post!
My husband and I have been slowly working on putting up one of those fancy wooden swing sets in our back yard, and it has not been going well. Let’s just say, I am not a handy person; and my hubby is less than patient… You get the picture… He may or may not have stormed off into his man cave once or twice, but it wasn’t anything that a little beer and and a dip in the pool couldn’t take care of.
We haven’t killed each other yet, despite the fact that our project has stalled at about 90% completion due to rain and total lack of motivation; but it may happen. Just letting you all know, in case you stop hearing from me. Ha.
So today, since I can’t find the strength to go out there and slave over a swing set that has been halfway assembled for so long that its novelty with the kids has already worn off despite not even being finished yet, I’ve decided to be fabulous.
Seeing as all of our money has gone into buying the new swing set, (and beer) there hasn’t been much room for my fashion budget lately; and that’s why I love fast fashion options like Great Glam, where I snagged this black & white, faux silhouette bodycon dress, with mesh sleeves, for a very budget friendly price!
I’ve paired it with a simple, yet standout gold chain necklace from Forever 21, faux leather, wrap bracelet from Addition Elle, and great black patent pumps from Payless, for a polished look that’s as fierce as it is budget friendly.
Tomorrow I’ll face reality (AKA the 50,000 bolts, screws, and washers we have left, that are somehow all supposed to have a place to go) and hopefully finish the job… But in the mean time, just for today, I’m pretending that my dress is expensive, and that I can afford to pay someone to do things for me, like assembling ridiculous wooden swing sets, and such.
Everyone is annoyed with me. Nobody knows what I’m saying, and they’re too fed up with listening to my incessant hissing and rasping, to care anymore. I’ve become white noise; and truth be told, I’m pretty sick of hearing my own voice at this point too. Is it possible that I actually talk MORE when I have laryngitis!? Ugh…
And it’s been one of those weeks too. We had an incident. A dead-squirrel-in-the-pool incident that I will probably have nightmares about for the rest of my life… Let’s just say, I may or may not have cried/gagged/cried some more. So that was fun.
But at least there are few silver linings… (Not for Mr. Squirrel, however – unless you count the lining of our pool.)
It’s been a long weekend for many of us here, and tomorrow is Canada Day! The hubby and I got our pool up and running better than ever after Squirrelmageddon; and the silverest (not a word, but who cares) lining of all…? My jewelry!!!
I’ve noticed that I’ve been neglecting my silver jewelry lately, so regardless of the fact that when I speak, I’m pretty sure I sound like what I would imagine the late Mr. Squirrel’s last moments sounded quite similar to, I decided that today was as good a day as any to take a few of my favorite pieces out for a spin!
I’ve gotten caught up in the whole cool/warm, silver/gold skin tone debate before. With my fair skin, cool, pink undertones, and blue veins, I always thought I should look better in silver, so for a long time that was all I ever wore. I only started wearing gold jewelry a couple of years ago, when I realized that my year round, generous covering of golden, tawny freckles looks totally fabulous in gold too! As it ends up, I’ve converted almost exclusively to gold, but I do still love me some silver jewelry.
I also happen to love me a fancy statement ring, and this ring from Forever 21 is the perfect combination of both! I mean, is it not freaking gorgeous!? With it, I went with a large silver chain necklace, also from Forever 21, these cute, big silver dome studs from Aldo Accessories, and of course, my trusty bangles.
Since I love the look of of silver with white and brights, I decided on wearing both! I find it can look a little abrasive paired with dark colors at times, (which can be hot if you’re going for a rocker chic look, but better for winter than summertime) so I paired my lovely, silver bobbles with some simple, white capris, a cute, striped neon coral top, (both from Addition Elle) and my fantastic, metal-toed, silver flats from Aldo, for a polished, casual look that definitely helped me to forget that I’m sick, and that I allegedly lost my sh*t (which I will neither confirm, nor deny) during the squirrelpocalypse.
PS. Unfortunate fact: There is no squirrel emoji. Gahhh!!! Why is there no squirrel emoji!? I really could have used one this week.
PPS. Not as unfortunate as the fate of Mr. Squirrel, however. May he rest in peace.