I recently shared a Daily Mail article on my Facebook page, about how women are fat-shamed three times a day – a sad reality.
The outpouring of comments that I received truly touched me, because so many of you have dealt with being humiliated based on your sizes, just as I have in the past.
I was tormented by my peers in grade school. I endured teasing, name calling, cow noises… You name it. And when I look back, the saddest part of it all was the brave face I had to show till I got home and could cry into my pillow.
I thought the bullying of my school days was behind me, until coincidentally, last night I was publicly, and directly FAT SHAMED, while enjoying one of my favourite unhealthy treats, poutine; and for those of you who aren’t familiar, it’s a sinful Quebec specialty, consisting of French fries smothered in gravy, and curd cheese – definitely not waistline friendly, but it’s my weakness. That and an ice cold Coke.
I posted about it on Facebook almost as soon as it happened, because I was just so taken aback by it that I felt an overwhelming need to share it with all of you.
As many of you know, I recently shared an article on fat shaming, and your wonderful, and heartbreaking comments blew me away and really touched my heart. I haven’t been TRULY made fun of in many years, and just tonight, while eating out (poutine of all things) a drunk jerk made waddling and fat belly gestures at me and yelled out “oh yeah, eat that poutine” (in French). I thought I would have been less humiliated than I was, in all honesty, and while I’m not upset, I was really embarrassed, and felt like finishing my food in my car. I didn’t, but the fact that I thought about going to hide to finish my meal makes me realize I still have a lot of work to do.
Just thought I would share…
It felt like elementary school all over again. That feeling of being mortified doesn’t change. Same anxious ball of stress in the pit of my stomach, same feeling of fighting back tears, same anger. I had forgotten what it felt like to be coldly, and deliberately humiliated. I’ve been embarrassed in other life situations, due to my size, the mortifying airplane seatbelt check, for one; and people have made comments or assumptions that have bothered me. “You really shouldn’t eat that”, or servers in restaurants asking me if I want Diet, when I odered a Coke – like, would you ask a skinny person that if she ordered it? Maybe, but when you ask me, I can feel your judgement as I say “no, a regular Coke, please”. Is it so unbelievable that I would want to treat myself to something that I love?
Now, I know that the server could have just been checking, to make sure she got my order right. And yes, it’s possible that it had nothing to do with my weight; but here’s the problem – fat shaming has now become so ingrained in people’s minds, that they do it unknowingly, without even realizing that they’ve been programmed to see us as weak, undisciplined, incompetent, and unworthy.
Big words, I know. And I’m sure my server had no idea how she was making me feel, and probably never thought of herself as someone who humiliated fat people, because society as a whole had told her that viewing me that way was normal.
The @#$hole last night, was doing it on purpose, his buddies snickering along with him, and I’m ashamed to admit it, but all I could do was look down and pretend I didn’t hear them.
Like is said,
I still WE STILL have a lot of work to do, because through years of humiliation, we’ve learned to just accept being laughed at; and I know we’ve probably all been the victims of our own imaginations before, but the double takes in the street for eating an ice cream cone, or when you can’t fit in the booth at a restaurant and the other patrons can’t help but steal a second glance at the fat girl trying to squeeze in, the walk of shame to a different table as people whisper amongst themselves, they’re real. That @#$hole in the street – he was real.
But we’re real too; and we deserve to be treated just like everybody else.
Although I’m disappointed in myself for not speaking up last night, I know that I’ve come a long way. The journey continues, and I’m so thankful to have all of you, my amazing followers, alongside me for the ride!
So, I grabbed lunch and a coffee (by coffee, I mean iced green tea, loaded with sugar, cancelling out all possible health benefits) with my favourite ladies yesterday; and I decided to wear one of the newest additions to my closet – this sassy, blush coloured muscle tee from Forever 21+, with the words “eat your heart out” printed across the front.
I paired it with a simple black pencil skirt with waist detail, but I wanted to glam my look up a bit, so I accessorized with this gorgeous iridescent necklace, which looks ridiculously like real opals (swoon), bracelets, as always, and these adorable round, nude framed sunnies which I just picked up on sale at Forever 21, and I absolutely adore!
Well, I’ve been working up the courage to actually get out there and do a photo shoot in swimwear, and believe me, the struggle has been real! So real, that this amazing Sexy Lips midkini from swimsuitsforall.com has been sitting in a drawer since I purchased it at the beginning of the summer.
But I’ve been so inspired by bloggers like Garner Style, who rocked the hell out of a black and white bikini (and made me fall in love with round sunglasses & body chains and was totally the inspiration for my look today), as well as my amazing followers who are so confident and gorgeous, that it was about time that I face my fat girl fears, and do a photo shoot in my very own fatkini!!!
I’ve paired it with two separate, but matching, black, sheer coverup pieces, which I love the idea of, because this way you can cover up less or more depending on the heat of the sun, or how cool the breeze is too. Also, it allows for a more modest option without sacrificing style, if, as was my experience at a beach resort in Haiti, you are required to cover up on top to go into a beachfront restaurant.
No swimwear look would be complete without the right accessories, so I went with my favourite gold, metallic flip flops, big gold hoops, my bangles, (no surprise there) and this fantastic body chain from Forever 21 (note, this is not a plus size piece, so I removed the chain link that connected the two shoulder pieces in the back and replaced it with a longer chain for a better fit).
It really took a lot for me to share these photos with all of you; and I only hope that I can inspire someone who, like me, felt that she wasn’t “perfect” enough to be seen this way. I hope to show that regardless of stretch marks, cellulite, and fat rolls, we can still be beautiful, confident, and enjoy a day at the beach, or an afternoon, poolside like me, in our own backyards, just as any other woman would.
I’m truly am feeling fabulous and empowered in my fatkini and this definitely won’t be my last one!!!
With the Jazz Fest having just wrapped up and Just For Laughs in full swing, one of my favourite festivals – Nuits D’Afrique (African Nights) is just getting started!
There is something magical and intoxicating about seeing busy city streets completely closed down to vehicles, just buzzing with people and activity (and plenty of booze)!!!
So tonight, as the hubby and I take in some of the best of what summer has to offer, I’ll be hitting the streets in this bright, vibrant, hot pink colour block dress (my favourite style, in case you haven’t noticed) from Posh Shoppe! I love its off the shoulder styling, and the black mesh inserts are everything!
I’ve paired this fabulous frock with my fave nude flats and neon yellow, beaded bib necklace (still available I’m neon coral) from Forever 21, for a fun, eye catching look that’s perfect for an evening downtown, taking in the wonderful sights and sounds of Africa right here in the beautiful, culture rich city of Montreal!!!
I’m a lucky girl!!!
Oooufff! These past couple of weeks have had me so busy, I’ve barely had the time to put on a decent outfit worth taking pictures of, let alone write a blog post!
My husband and I have been slowly working on putting up one of those fancy wooden swing sets in our back yard, and it has not been going well. Let’s just say, I am not a handy person; and my hubby is less than patient… You get the picture… He may or may not have stormed off into his man cave once or twice, but it wasn’t anything that a little beer and and a dip in the pool couldn’t take care of.
We haven’t killed each other yet, despite the fact that our project has stalled at about 90% completion due to rain and total lack of motivation; but it may happen. Just letting you all know, in case you stop hearing from me. Ha.
So today, since I can’t find the strength to go out there and slave over a swing set that has been halfway assembled for so long that its novelty with the kids has already worn off despite not even being finished yet, I’ve decided to be fabulous.
Seeing as all of our money has gone into buying the new swing set, (and beer) there hasn’t been much room for my fashion budget lately; and that’s why I love fast fashion options like Great Glam, where I snagged this black & white, faux silhouette bodycon dress, with mesh sleeves, for a very budget friendly price!
I’ve paired it with a simple, yet standout gold chain necklace from Forever 21, faux leather, wrap bracelet from Addition Elle, and great black patent pumps from Payless, for a polished look that’s as fierce as it is budget friendly.
Tomorrow I’ll face reality (AKA the 50,000 bolts, screws, and washers we have left, that are somehow all supposed to have a place to go) and hopefully finish the job… But in the mean time, just for today, I’m pretending that my dress is expensive, and that I can afford to pay someone to do things for me, like assembling ridiculous wooden swing sets, and such.
Everyone is annoyed with me. Nobody knows what I’m saying, and they’re too fed up with listening to my incessant hissing and rasping, to care anymore. I’ve become white noise; and truth be told, I’m pretty sick of hearing my own voice at this point too. Is it possible that I actually talk MORE when I have laryngitis!? Ugh…
And it’s been one of those weeks too. We had an incident. A dead-squirrel-in-the-pool incident that I will probably have nightmares about for the rest of my life… Let’s just say, I may or may not have cried/gagged/cried some more. So that was fun.
But at least there are few silver linings… (Not for Mr. Squirrel, however – unless you count the lining of our pool.)
It’s been a long weekend for many of us here, and tomorrow is Canada Day! The hubby and I got our pool up and running better than ever after Squirrelmageddon; and the silverest (not a word, but who cares) lining of all…? My jewelry!!!
I’ve noticed that I’ve been neglecting my silver jewelry lately, so regardless of the fact that when I speak, I’m pretty sure I sound like what I would imagine the late Mr. Squirrel’s last moments sounded quite similar to, I decided that today was as good a day as any to take a few of my favorite pieces out for a spin!
I’ve gotten caught up in the whole cool/warm, silver/gold skin tone debate before. With my fair skin, cool, pink undertones, and blue veins, I always thought I should look better in silver, so for a long time that was all I ever wore. I only started wearing gold jewelry a couple of years ago, when I realized that my year round, generous covering of golden, tawny freckles looks totally fabulous in gold too! As it ends up, I’ve converted almost exclusively to gold, but I do still love me some silver jewelry.
I also happen to love me a fancy statement ring, and this ring from Forever 21 is the perfect combination of both! I mean, is it not freaking gorgeous!? With it, I went with a large silver chain necklace, also from Forever 21, these cute, big silver dome studs from Aldo Accessories, and of course, my trusty bangles.
Since I love the look of of silver with white and brights, I decided on wearing both! I find it can look a little abrasive paired with dark colors at times, (which can be hot if you’re going for a rocker chic look, but better for winter than summertime) so I paired my lovely, silver bobbles with some simple, white capris, a cute, striped neon coral top, (both from Addition Elle) and my fantastic, metal-toed, silver flats from Aldo, for a polished, casual look that definitely helped me to forget that I’m sick, and that I allegedly lost my sh*t (which I will neither confirm, nor deny) during the squirrelpocalypse.
PS. Unfortunate fact: There is no squirrel emoji. Gahhh!!! Why is there no squirrel emoji!? I really could have used one this week.
PPS. Not as unfortunate as the fate of Mr. Squirrel, however. May he rest in peace.
From the minute I first laid eyes on it, I just knew… This is the one. The flattering length, bodycon cut, and the print… Ohhh, the PRINT!!! I can’t even!!! When I look at it, it evokes images of coconuts, sand, and ocean waves… A dusty roadside marketplace, colorful linens and mangoes for sale… It is, in a word, perfection.
I’ve pulled my hair up in a big, luxurious bun for an elegant, exotic look that definitely lives up to this dress’s fantastic tropical print.
And so… I’m just gonna come right out and say it – I look HOT!!! So hot, in fact, that I couldn’t help myself… I even took a belfie!!! That’s a butt selfie, by the way!
It was a hot and sunny weekend, and it can be hard to look put together in the heat when you're face turns a dozen shades of pink and your entire body feels dewy; but I managed to stay cool and stylish in this gorgeous lace skirt from ELOQUII. I love its rich orange hue and how amazing it looked worn higher up for a high waisted look.
I paired it with this light, sheer, ivory colored blouse, square hoop earrings, bangles, matching square cuff, and these amazing tortoiseshell sunnies from Forever 21+, an elegant, beaded necklace from Aldo Accessories, and simple gold flip flops from Walmart, for an effortlessly chic daytime look that was as comfortable as it was classy.
And since no outfit of mine is truly complete without the ultimate accessory, here’s one more shot, with the handsome hubby on my arm!
Summer is right around the corner, and we all know what that means!!! More shopping!!!
I’ve been busy putting together my summer wardrobe – lots of white, lots of color, and lots of prints and texture!
Today, I’m rocking this fun, tribal print bodycon dress from Forever 21+ (which is sadly, sold out right now, but similar options are available). I’ve paired it with these great turquoise wedges from Payless, some gold bangles, and these amazing, Forever 21 multicolored hoop earrings, for a bright, vibrant look that’s perfect for summertime!
It’s been raining for two days straight here in Montreal, so I figured I would brighten up my day (and hopefully yours, regardless of the weather) with this very colorful post, featuring this stunning, multi-colored floral kimono from Forever 21+ and this amazingly vibrant necklace from ALDO Accessories.
I’ve paired these pieces with my trusty black leggings from Additon Elle, a reddish-orange tank top (Forever 21+) which matches perfectly with the kimono, cute T-strap flats (Forever 21) and some colorful bracelets, to create a bold, lively look that could brighten up just about anyone’s day!
Since the start of this year, I challenged myself, and I went from someone who feared wearing color, to… Well… This girl that you see here! I’ve already received so many compliments on this outfit – it’s crazy! I never could have imagined that I would feel so free and confident wearing such bright, bold hues, but let me tell you, it feels amazing!!!
All can say is this – never be afraid to be seen. Do not feel like you should be invisible. Wear color! There is a joy that comes from wearing beautiful colors that I never new existed until I really gave it a shot; and I would hate for any of you to miss out on this fantastic feeling!!!