Category: Body Acceptance

Be My Valentine?

I’ve never done a lingerie post before… 

  
The idea of putting my body out there to be picked apart, and being judged and slut shamed in the process has been something that has held me back and made me think that this type of post just wasn’t for me…

  
Then this sexy little number, a leopard print chemise from SexyPlus came my way, and it got me thinking… 

  
With each fear I’ve conquered, I’ve become more powerful. I’ve become stronger, and more confident. I’ve gotten to know more about who I am, and what I deserve. 

  
Sure, not everyone will approve. This will definitely ruffle a few feathers… 

  
Many will judge, because that’s just what people do…

   

  
But… The reality is, I spent a lifetime hiding—sometimes to the point of physical discomfort, just to spare the world’s eyes of the parts of me that I felt were so appalling, that nobody should see. 

  

  
So if this makes you uncomfortable, I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry because I don’t have to be… I never did, and I know that now.

  

  
I don’t need to show my body in order to prove anything to anyone. What feels empowering for me may not be what empowers you, and that’s okay… I choose to show it…  Not all of it, but most, because I have nothing to prove, but to myself, that I can be vulnerable, unapologetic, and not give a shit what anyone thinks of me. This is my own personal challenge. My body, my choice. 

  
I’m not what society calls, a good fatty. I have rippled inner thighs, and a stretch mark covered belly that hangs down. I have sagging breasts, a double chin, and arms that jiggle when I raise them…

  
But I’m beautiful. 

I’m worthy. 

Right down to my back fat and dimpled butt. 

  
So this year, I have asked myself, will you be my valentine? 

As much as I love my husband, and thank him dearly for snapping these gorgeous shots that have made me feel so bold and strong… My answer to myself is, yes!

  
Yes I will be my valentine, because sometimes self-love deserves to be celebrated too, and this Valentine’s Day, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. 

Happy Valentine’s Day!!! ❤️

  
Chemise, SexyPlus Clothing – here 

Bra, Hips & Curves – here

Panties, Hips & Curves – here 

Don’t Flatter Yourself, Cupcake

“That designer should be fired,” they said… “Not flattering at all,” they said… “Even the model looks unhappy to be wearing it,” they said… But what did Alysse Delassandro, designer (and said “unhappy” model) of the controversial Ready To Stare Convertible Cupcake Dress say…?

Fuck you to flattering fat girl clothes,” and I couldn’t agree more! 

  

I saw it on Facebook first, back around the time her holiday collection launched — the nasty comments, all because a designer dared to challenge society’s idea of what plus size fashion should be. 

   
 
Even though I’ve learned not to be surprised by the closed-mindedness of people on the Internet, I couldn’t help but be a little bit shocked that so many plus size women themselves couldn’t see how empowering a statement this dress (which can also be worn as a skirt) truly was. 

   
 
I get it though, I don’t feel this way personally, but I get it — we, as fat women, have fought so hard to wear form fitting clothes and be accepted by society, that the idea of wearing a piece that hides our curves seems scary — but it’s not.

   
 
In fact, it’s probably no more scary than the first time a fat woman wore a bodycon dress, which, newsflash — angry conformists everywhere probably had a problem with too! 
 
 What Alysse has done, is go up against the standard, which was once a controversy itself, and say, it’s time to forge further and conquer new territory in plus size fashion! It’s time to step out of these stagnant waters and allow ourselves to accept that we have a right to wear any style a thin person can, whether society deems it “flattering” or not! 
  
All of that aside, I love this dress. I loved it even as my eyes were drawn down into vitriol being spewed in the comments section, and not just because I think everything Alysse touches turns to gaudy, yellow gold (in the most perfect possible sense, of course) but because it’s playful, bold, and one of the most couture plus size pieces I’ve seen this year. 
   
  
   
 So as it comes to a close, and we ready ourselves to stare 2016 in the face, I wish you all very happy holidays, as I prance through the snow in festive red, woven with gold, that, like its name suggests, looks good enough to eat! 

  

Dress, Ready To Stare – here 

Shoes, Shoes Of Prey, designed by me- design your own here 

Necklace, Forever 21+ – old, similar 

Shawl coat, Forever 21+ – old, similar 

I’m Baaack

I suppose I owe everyone a bit of an explanation as to why I seemed to have all but disappeared from the blogging world for about two months… It wasn’t intentional — I haven’t been on vacation (unfortunately), nor have I been lacking amazing content to bring to you lovelies…

Not long after my birthday, at the beginning of November, my husband became very ill and was hospitalized. We weren’t sure if he was going to make it or not. It was one of the biggest scares I’ve ever had, and it really put life into perspective for me. 

Before you start worrying, everything is fine — he has made a full recovery, thank God! His illness was brief, but severe, and thankfully he was soon back home in my arms, where he belonged!

Understandably, this was a very stressful event in my life, and I have found it difficult, until now, to even try to wrap my mind around blogging, but throughout it all, I kept feeling this guilt over staying away from my amazing followers, so much so, that it made me avoid anything blog related, because it reminded me too much of how I missed it!!! 

I’m thrilled to say that I’m back, and I’m ready to show off a fabulous look that I shot way back in November, which was originally supposed to be featured in that month’s French Curves post. For obvious reasons, it never saw the light of day, but I thought it a shame to waste the shots and not share! 

       

This is, hands down, thee most amazing fleece cape/poncho/shawl (which is how I will be referring to it, since I’m not really sure which word describes it best), and would you believe, it was purchased from Costco!? Freaking COSTCO!!! 
 
Who knew a boxed cape/poncho/shawl from Costco, (and when I say boxed, I’m talking a men’s-underwear-mega-value-8-pack style box) could have the potential to be so chic!? 

   
 
  
I paired it with my fave jorts from Penningtons, which I’ve fall/winterized by wearing over a great pair of printed tights from Addition Elle. I love how the wild and sexy leopard print plays against the super classic houndstooth print, and they look so cute with my wooly, Penningtons booties!

  

Underneath, I wore an an oldie but a goodie, my military inspired, high neck top from Great Glam, which I’ve had for years, and continue to adore! 

  
Last but surely not least, let’s talk about my favourite new accessory — these totally gorge leather & faux-fur mittens, from Little Burgundy!!! I can’t even with these mitts! They’re so fab!!!

  
This is the absolute perfect outfit for the unusually mild fall/winter we’ve been having here in Montreal, and it has provided me with one of the two very valuable life lessons I’ve learned over the past couple of months:

   
  
#1, Life is fragile, so remember to tell the ones you love just how much they mean to you, because at any moment without warning, you could find yourself in danger of losing them; and #2, never turn your nose up at boxed Costco clothing, it may very well end up being the chicest thing in your closet one day! 

  
Cape/poncho/shawl, Costco – maybe still available in store

Jean shorts, Penningtons – old

Booties, Penningtons – possibly still in store

Tights, Addition Elle – here 

Top, Great Glam – old

Mittens, Little Burgundy – here 

F*CK SELF-DOUBT 

Life is all about taking risks, overcoming obstacles, and breaking through barriers… But when self-doubt starts seeping in through those little cracks that a lifetime of being ashamed of yourself has left behind, it can be much easier said than done.

I’m not saying this because I’m in the mood to dish out life advice, but because my self-doubting thoughts almost got the best of me last week, and I know that so many of you beautiful people struggle with your own body image too.

I receive comments from my followers all the time, about how much they wish they could have my confidence…

So, I really wanted to remind you all, that even the most confident, body positive people still have those moments when it’s hard to love themselves sometimes, and you are sooooo not alone on those days when you look in the mirror and feel like you’re just not good enough.

The confidence you see in my pictures didn’t happen overnight. It is an ongoing process, and I never want any of you to think that it is unattainable or unreachable in any way.

I woke up on the morning of my shoot. I had planned out my whole outfit. I had actually been really excited about it, because it had been a while since I wore something a little more risqué.

The look was made up of four of the most fabulous, sexy, and empowering pieces I own — a black, gold studded, bodycon mini dress from Stylzoo, a stunning chain headpiece from Ready To Stare, my amazing thigh high boots from SexyPlus, and the most incredible black satin bomber from SmartGlamour, with custom lettering.

 


I got dressed, did my makeup, pulled my boots up my chubby thighs, and… I started to feel self-conscious.


I began berating myself for having ever thought I could pull off such a sexy look. Who am I? A thirty-something, fat wife and mother looking like a hooker trying to show someone a good time…?

I fat shamed myself. I slut shamed myself… Two things that I am so strongly opposed to, and yet there I was, staring at my own reflection, picking myself apart and telling myself that I didn’t deserve to feel sexy, and that showing off my body somehow made me less valuable. I almost didn’t leave the house.



Then I thought of my Stylzoo dress, and how hard I have fought to love my legs and belly, and feel comfortable showing them off.


I thought of my boots from SexyPlus, and how fierce they made me feel the moment I stepped out in these first pair of thigh-highs I had ever found to fit my legs.

I thought of my headpiece from Ready To Stare, and how rad as hell it is, and how much of a sexy goddess it makes me feel.

And I thought of my bomber from SmartGlamour, and how excited I was when I was able to select the words “FAT GIRL” in big gold letters, to be displayed across the back, because I’m fat and proud of who I am!

  

The thought of how I had come so far to finally accept my body —myself, and feel good in the clothes I love, came flooding back, washing the doubt into oblivion.

And I decided, fuck what I think people might say about me, my body, and how I choose to dress it! I’m not going to let my self-doubt get in the way of me wearing the stuff I love, just because I’m worried about anyone’s judgement!!!


I went out and did my shoot on a busy street in late afternoon, looking fly as hell; and I just wanted all of you to know that even when you see my pictures and think it looks easy, I do still struggle with self-confidence, and I don’t ever want any of you to feel alone in that!

The important thing to remember, and I hope I can be an example of it, is never to forget how far you’ve come — how hard you’ve worked toward self-acceptance, or how badly you want it. You deserve to love yourself, and that’s what will bring you back to reality — and that reality is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that YOU ARE WORTHY.   

Dress, Stylzoo – here

Customizable Bomber Jacket, SmartGlamour – here

Headpiece, Ready To Stare – here

Boots, SexyPlus Clothing – here

In Stylzoo 

Every year I get really excited about fall fashion — the layering, the boots,  the rich, deep colours, and did I mention the layering? 

Navy blue will forever be one of my favourite fall shades. It offers all the benefits of wearing black (and no, I’m not talking “flattering,” I’m talking versatility), while actually bringing a little colour to the table. 

  
This navy wrap dress from Stylzoo is total perfection! It hugs my curves beautifully, and I’m seriously feeling the sexy V neckline! 

  
    
 I paired it with a this super chic, longline blazer from Penningtons…

   
And threw on my trusty, grey combat boots, to complete my look’s military-meets-90s-grunge inspired attitude.  

  
I decided to be bold and pick up on the tones in the lining of my boots, and accessorize with my emerald green Kate Spade Clutch, silver and pastel blue earrings, and my most daring lippie yet, a deep teal/green shade called Dr. M, from ColourPop Cosmetics! 

 

  
 I love how refreshing the mix of classic and edgier elements turned out to be! 
  
Armed with great pieces like my Stylzoo wrap dress, and adventurous lipstick shades like this one, I am definitely fall fashion ready! 

Dress, Stylzoo – here 

Blazer, Penningtons- sold out online, may still be available in store 

Lippie, ColourPop Cosmetics- here 

French Curves: BOYISH

  
As usual, due to unforeseen circumstances (let’s face it, I’d prolly still be late even if the circumstances were foreseen), I’m a little late with this post! 

By now, most of you know that the 16th (errr… 21st?) of every month means it’s time for the French Curves Challenge – an outfit photo challenge with the French touch, created by the fabulous, Vanoue, of The Curvy and Curly Closet!

The theme this month: BOYISH!!!

As always, an English translation will follow, so if French isn’t your forte, just scroll on down! 

Comme d’habitude, en raison de circonstances imprévues (avouons-le, je serais probablement quand même en retard même si les circonstances étaient prévus), je suis un peu en retard !

Aujourd’hui, la plupart d’entre vous savent que le 16 (euh … Le 21
?) De chaque mois signifie qu’il est temps pour le French Curves Challenge, crée par la fabuleuse Vanoue, de The Curvy and Curly Closet

Le thème ce mois: BOYISH !!!   

  

J’adore le look androgyne. J’aime la façon dont le style vient jouer avec les idées préconçues des gens, et brouille les frontières du genre. Alors le thème de “boyish” ce mois-ci m’a captivé instantanément ! 

   

Je me sens vraiment sexy et forte quand je porte des vêtements avec un look masculin.

  

Par contre, j’aime toujours ajouter des petites touches féminines dans le mélange aussi, juste pour tromper du monde! 

Alors, pour mon look boyish, j’ai choisi ma salopette préférée provenant d’Addition Elle, un super cute crop top en motif extra terrestre de Chubby Cartwheels, avec une veste en denim à manches en molleton de Penningtons. 

   
Comme accessoires, j’ai opté pour mes jolis flâneurs Coach pointu, dans une couleur neutre, un petit sac très chic, et des bijoux dorés.

    

J’ai tellement adoré mon look, que ça m’a donné envie de montrer mon ventre, sans aucune raison à part du fait que je me sentais bien dans ma peau dans cette tenue ! 

   
Assurez-vous de jeter un coup d’œil à tous les superbe looks boyish de les autres French Curvettes ici, ainsi que sur Facebook, et Instagram aussi ! Et n’oubliez pas d’utiliser le hashtag #FrenchCurvesOOTD et #FlightOfTheFatGirl !!! 

 

I love the androgynous look. I love how it messes with people’s preconceived notions and blurs the lines of gender. So this month’s “boyish” theme captivated me instantly! 
I feel really sexy and strong when I wear masculine looking clothing. 
However, I like to throw a few feminine touches into the mix too, just to mess with people!

So, for my boyish look, I chose my fave pair of overalls, from Addition Elle, a super cute alien head crop top from Chubby Cartwheels, with a great jean jacket with French terry sleeves from Penningtons. 
For accessories, my pretty, pointy Coach loafers in a neutral colour, a very chic little clutch, and some gold bling. 

I loved my look so much that it made me want to show off mah belly, for no other reason than the fact that I felt good in my skin in this outfit! 

Be sure to check out the awesomely boyish looks of all the other French Curvettes here, as well as on Facebook, and Instagram too!!! Don’t forget to use the hashtags #FrenchCurvesOOTD and #FlightOfTheFatGirl!!! 

Veste en denim, Penningtons – ici 

Jean jacket, Penningtons- here 

The Final Curve

5 years ago, I probably would have laughed in your face if you told me that one day I’d be saying that my VBO (visible belly outline) is sexy. And like, not just an uncomfortable giggle… I mean, a full on, straight from the gut, you-must-be-off-your-rocker kind of laugh. 

  
Who knew I would ever be able to utter the words “I love my belly” without resentful sarcasm!?  I certainly never would have believed it — but here I am, looking at my soft, protruding, B-belly, like, “dammmmn!!!” *wink/weirdly opened mouth/awkward head nod* 

  
I’m not about to shout from the rooftops that I’ll never wear shapewear again, because I do still love the look and feel of a tight, somewhat smooth bod under my clothes sometimes, and there’s nothing wrong with that…

  

   
But, I will say this: I am never going to be uncomfortable displaying my belly when and how I please, because I don’t need to hide it to feel sexy!!! It’s soft, round, and jiggles when I walk, but so do my boobs and my butt, and I love those! So it’s time to embrace the final curve!!! 

 
As it goes with most of my body acceptance accomplishments, it usually begins with a great outfit! 

   

These amazing, faux leather trimmed leggings and black mesh top from SexyPlus are so gorgeous!!! They’re the perfect pieces for a night out dancing, or for casually layering, as I’ve done under this beautiful kimono from Zelie For She.  

  
Paired with some simple grey flats, silver accessories, and a fabulous felt hat from Addition Elle this summer, the all black pieces underneath give amazing detail and texture to the whole look! 

   
   
And of course, my newest favourite accessory — my VBO!!! 
  

Mesh top, SexyPlus Clothing – here (on sale!!!)

Leggings, SexyPlus Clothing – similar 

Duster, Zelie For She – similar 

Hat, Addition Elle – here 

Shoes, Walmart – similar