Category: Body Acceptance

No, Honey 

I’m 100% body positive. I love my fat peeps, my skinny peeps, my short, tall, black, white, and everything-in-between peeps! I truly believe that every body is beautiful in its own unique way.

I’ve been fat my whole life. Even when I was suffering from anorexia and bulimia, and had shed over 100 lbs. In my mind, I was still fat.


It took me a hell of a lot of hard work to learn that I was worth loving. The fact that I truly believe it is something I’m proud of, because that realization may come easily to some, but it didn’t for me.

When somebody tries to take that kind of self-love away from me, or from anyone — I get angry.


I’m so sick of seeing women tear each other down in order to build themselves up!


Because I’m fat and pretty, it doesn’t mean you can’t be pretty and thin!


There is more than one way to be beautiful, and more than enough beauty in this world to go around!


Who is anyone to assume that it has anything to do with size?


Size is a tangible thing. You can see size, measure it — feel it… Beauty is all in our heads.


What I’m really trying to say here is — if you’re thin, go ahead and believe that you’re prettier than me. If that’s how you see it, than to you, it’s the truth.


But know, that my truth looks different. In my mind, the fact that you are thin doesn’t automatically qualify you to be beautiful.


Thinness isn’t a prerequisite to beauty — kindness is.



So no, honey. If you can’t see that your beauty standards do not define me, then just know that you’re thinner than me — not prettier — and don’t get the two confused.


Crop top, Flaws of Couture – here

Skirt, Eloquii – here

Clutch, Aldo – similar

Shoes, Payless – here

PS. Here are a few things I find beautiful, from an abandoned building, one of my favourite places to shoot!


  
  

Boobs, Sun & Being A Goddess

Today I’m going to talk about boobs. Yes. Boobs… Boobs and sun. 

I was born and raised in Montreal – a city where for a good chunk of the year, the air is so cold it literally hurts your face… 

We don’t have palm trees, there are no pineapple plants, and our beaches certainly don’t resemble the white sands & turquoise waves of the Caribbean; but for a few months each summer, we do have sun, and I think, from living in a climate of extremes, we know how to appreciate it better than most!

We swim, we camp, we fish, we bask… Not much keeps us inside in the summertime. After all, we’ve waited months to actually go out without freezing our arses off, right? 

And while it isn’t officially summer just yet, the sun is definitely shining down on us, and its warm glow has gotten me feeling kind of frisky!

I know what you’re all thinking… When’s she gonna get to the boobs?

So instead of me getting to them, I’m bringing the boobs to you! Bam!!!  

  
Now if you know me at all, you know that going braless (and often pantless) is far from being a rare occurrence for me, as long as I’m at home or able to throw a winter coat over it, but going visibly braless is public is not something I’m used to. 

So when I wore this incredibly elegant and whimsical, sheer maxi dress from the new Zelie For She, Island Vibes collection, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and flaunt my braless titayyys, because boobs are amazing!!!

   
     

At first I felt shy. I felt that familiar wave of self-questioning panic wash over me… But after a few moments (and some encouraging words from my loving husband/photographer for the day) I told myself, fuck it! I don’t need to wear a bra to please anyone but myself, and ruining the gorgeous neckline of this dress will make me sad, so screw the bra (at least for today)! My tits are free!!! 

   
 

Sure I got winked at by an old man on a bike with spectacular calves (which I’m not going to lie, was a bit of a confidence booster even if he was old enough to be my grandpa). 

  
 And sure, I “freed” at least one nipple twice (that I know of)… (Explains why I got that wink from gramps!) 

   
   But, I felt sexy and alive – my breasts, which have fed my four babies, been pillows for my husband, are to me, symbols of my womanhood. They are truly miraculous entities (or should I say, en-titties), and are nothing to be ashamed of. 

   
    

  They’re no longer perky, they have stretch marks, and imperfections – but they’re mine, and they’re beautiful… And I will never let self-consciousness stop me from being a braless goddess again when I feel like it, especially under the warm sun! 

  
Dress, Zelie For She – here 

Shoes, Aldo – old, but love these 

Confident to the Maxi

 

I remember when I first really noticed a woman in a maxi dress. It was sometime during the mid 2000s, and she had “the perfect body” (or at least the body I hadn’t realized yet, wasn’t the only kind anyone thought was beautiful). I’m sure I had seen others before her, sashaying about in ankle-length dresses, but this girl just caught my attention. In my still unaccepting-of-my-own-body mind, she was everything I wished I could be. Slim, large-breasted, beautiful, and she seemed to almost float along in that long, flowy dress like nothing else mattered but her and the breeze that lifted her hem every now and again, to reveal her ultra chic gladiator sandals, and perfect pedicure… 

She was noticeable, right down to her bohemian, beaded necklace, and bangles that slid all the way up her slender arms, to her elbows when she lifted her hand to brush the hair from her face. 

I realize now, all these years later, that what I was so captivated by wasn’t this girl’s seemingly perfect silhouette, but rather, her confidence. 

I never would have guessed then, that I could feel as good as she looked in that dress… I never could have imagined that her intoxicating vibe was something that I could have for my very own… But now I see it. Now, finally after all these years, I love my body, and when I step out the door in a gorgeous maxi dress, I know I look just as striking as she did. I know I walk with the same ease and carelessness as I remember her doing so well… And I know others see it too. 

See, it’s not about having the perfect body. It’s not about having slim arms, or large breasts. None of those things will ever give you the intangible quality that I couldn’t quite pin down, until I experienced what self-love truly was for myself. 

That woman felt beautiful, and that’s what drew me to her. I feel beautiful, and that’s what was shining through when I wore this stunning maxi from SexyPlus Clothing.

Once I stepped into it, I didn’t want to take it off, so I decided to take my look from day to night! 

For daytime, I paired it with pretty, embellished sandals, sunnies, a straw hat, gold bangles (of course) and my Lilly Pulitzer for Target straw bag (my only score from the great Lilly for Target fiasco/triumph). 

   
     And for my evening look, I switched out my sandals, hat, and beach bag for a cute pair of cork wedges, a vintage clutch, a great necklace, and a fab black tuxedo style bolero from SexyPlus, and headed off for a date night with my hubby! 

   

   

Maxi dresses are super versatile, and really transition well from day to evening. This particular one is so fun, because it combines animal print and paisley, for a really fun combination of wild and classic. 

Just a little note, I actually sized down in this dress, as it is made very generously, but I would recommend ordering your usual size if you’re particularly boobalicious (which I’m not). I have very big hips, and as you can see, even when sizing down, the cut is roomy. 

So, while I must admit, I still yearn for a set of bangles that can actually slide all the way up to my elbows (seriously, where can I get some of those?)… I feel pretty f*cking fabulous in this dress!!!  

I can say with a huge degree of certainty, that if I had known then, back when I first saw that woman looking effortlessly cool in her maxi, that the greatest detail of her outfit was her confidence, my life would have gone a lot differently… But the important thing is that one fine day, I did learn her secret. I did start to love myself, and now, I can rock a maxi like nobodies business, and it feels glorious!!! 

Because you’re all so amazing, please use, code FREEFLIGHT to get free shipping from SexyPlus from now till May 25th 2015! Don’t miss out! This dress is still available in this print, as well as in a couple of others!!!

Dress, SexyPlus – here or other prints, here & here 

Tuxedo bolero, SexyPlus – here or similar, here 


French Curves: CROP TOP

Parlez-vous français ?


Once again, it’s time for my contribution to the French Curves Challenge –  an outfit photo challenge with the french touch, taking place each 16th of the month, and founded by the fabulous and inspirational, Vanoue of The Curvy and Curly Closet.

The theme this month!? Crop top!!! And don’t worry, I wouldn’t do all my Anglo readers like that! An English message will follow!

Le thème de mois: crop top !!!

J’ai porté mon premier crop top de ma vie adulte il y a un peux plus qu’un an. Sans mentir, c’était une idée intimidante pour moi. 

J’ai mis quatre enfants au monde, un par césarienne. Mon ventre est recouverte de vergetures, et il est la partie de mon corps que j’ai eu le plus de mal à accepter depuis aussi longtemps que je peux me rappeler. 

Mais ce jour là je me suis mis au défi, et j’ai tombé amoureuse de mon ventre, malgré ces défauts. Depuis ce jour je n’ai jamais regardé en arrière, et maintenant le crop top joue un rôle récurrent dans ma garde-robe. 

Un de mes favoris est celui-là en rose pâle, de ZELIE FOR SHE. Je l’ai mis pour la première fois avec un tutu et un moto pour un look de princesse/motard, mais il s’est vraiment prouver comme une de les pièces les plus versatiles dans ma penderie. 

Cette fois-ci, j’ai décidé de créer un look classique et sophistiqué, toujours en portant un crop top, mais d’une façon modeste, sans montrer beaucoup de peau, qui pourrait même marcher au bureau !

Je l’ai porté avec une formidable jupe fourreau en bleu marin et une veste orange construction d’ELOQUII. 

J’ai accessoirisé avec des boucle d’oreille en argent, ma belle pochette Moti de Ted Baker, et les chaussures les plus magnifiques dans ma vie présentement – ces jolies pumps à talons carrés, paré de bijoux, en vert menthe, de ASOS. 

Dans les années 90, quand montrer son ventre était la tendance, jamais dans un million d’années, j’allais croire qu’un jour je me retrouverais dans un crop top ! Ils me font sentir rebelle, coquine, super sexy, même quand je ne montre pas de peau, et ils m’ont poussé à embrasser la partie de mon corps que j’avais toujours détesté le plus. Ils m’ont aidé à montrer au monde que ce ventre que j’ai, n’est rien à cacher, mais au contraire une fierté et un symbol de la force qu’il m’a pris de surmonter mes insécurités et un petit rappel de les quatre belles personnes à qui j’ai donné vie. 

Et un gros merci à mon mari d’amour qui a fait ses débuts come pjotographe avec ces jolies photos !!! Je t’aime !!! 

Vous pouvez decouvrir les contributions de tout les autre fabuleuses French Curvettes au lien ci-dessous, ainsi que sur la page Facebook French Curves, ai au @frenchcurvesfashion sur instagram!

Powered by Linky Tools

Click here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list…



Jupe, ELOQUII – ici

Veste, ELOQUII – d’autres couleurs disponibles ici 

Chaussures, ASOS – ici 

Pochette, Ted Baker – d’autres couleurs disponibles ici  

I told you I wouldn’t leave you hanging! Here’s the translation:

I wore my first crop top in my entire adult life just a little over a year ago. It was an intimidating thought for me, I’m not going to lie…

I’ve had four children, one of whom was delivered by C-section. My stomach is covered in stretch marks, and it’s the part of my body that I’ve had the hardware accepting for as long as I can remember.

But I challenged myself that day, and I fell in love with my stomach including its flaws! I’ve never looked back, and crop tops now play a reoccurring role in my wardrobe!

One of my favourites is this delicate blush coloured crop top from ZELIE FOR SHE, that I wore for the first time with the matching tutu and a pleurer jacket, for a princess-meets-biker look. It has truly proven to be one of the most versatile pieces in my closet.

I’ve paired it with this great navy blue pencil midi and construction orange blazer from ELOQUII.

I’ve accessorized with my beautiful Ted Baker Moti clutch, and the most stunning shoes in my life right now – these totally gorge, seafoam green, block heel, bejewelled pumps from ASOS.

In the 90s, One bearing ones tummy was all the rage, never in a million years, would I have imagined that wearing a crop top would feel so empowering for me, but it truly does. Even when I’m not showing any skin, they make me feel flirty, rebellious, super sexy, and most of all, they allowed me to embrace a part of myself that I used to detest, and to show the world that my tummy is nothing to be ashamed about, but rather a symbol of the strength it has taken me to overcome my insecurities, and a reminder of the four beautiful people that I brought into this world!

A huge thank you to my amazing husband, who made his debut as a photographer with these fab shots!!! Love you!!!

You can discover all the great crop top looks from my fellow French Curvettes at the link below, and visit the French Curves Facebook page, and @frenchcurvesfashion on Instagram too!

Powered by Linky Tools

Click here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list…

And on Facebook

Crop top, ZELIE FOR SHE- similar

Skirt, ELOQUII – here

Blazer, ELOQUII – other colors available here

Clutch, Ted Baker – other colors available here

Shoes, ASOS – here

Channeling Frida

20140803-224542-81942632.jpg

Yesterday I came across a picture on Instagram from a Canadian owned and Toronto based company, Revolucion Jewelry who’s entire line is inspired by the fabulous, Frida Kahlo. On their website they state:

Our mission is to encourage and give women the confidence to dress bold and make a statement with their jewelry. It is a hand picked collection of statement pieces for fashion revolutionaries, free thinkers and daring women alike. These statement pieces are inspired by Frida Kahlo, Mexican artist and revolutionist that began wearing statement necklaces before any of us.

20140804-063842-23922498.jpg

Can I just say? I LOVE this! Frida has not only become somewhat of a pop culture icon, representing body positivity, feminism, and freethinking, but also, just so happens to be a major inspiration of mine, both as an artist and a strong woman who broke the rules of fashion and beauty.

Since I was feeling inspired, I decided to use her notoriously vibrant, flower and statement jewelry wearing image as the basis for my look.

Re-creating her famous unibrow would have been going overboard, so instead, I applied winged liner to get that same intense look about my eyes that Frida was known for in her many self-portraits.

20140804-064438-24278259.jpg
This wasn’t an easy task for someone with hooded eyelids and a lot of facial asymmetry due to three bouts of Bell’s palsy in the past, but I think I pulled it off. Since I have very fair, freckled skin, I went with a dark brown liquid liner, instead of the typical black, to soften the look, and not create too harsh a contrast.

As for her moustache – I’m due for a wax, so it’s there… That counts, right?

Hot pink, red and aubergine coloured flowers up around my top knot, a sheer, red, peasant style blouse, a bold, blended lip, and bold jewelry were the perfect details to really capture Frida’s signature look; but the challenge was all in making it wearable in real life, and not just a “costume.”

20140804-064343-24223844.jpg
To bring the look together, I paired it with classic, sophisticated pieces, which is a technique that applies to making any eccentric or extravagant accessories work in your wardrobe.

A black pencil skirt, cream coloured blazer and pretty, pink, pointy-toed flats complete the ensemble, for a chic, yet whimsical Frida Kahlo inspired look that truly captures her essence.

Blouse, blazer – Addition Elle
Skirt, necklace – Forever 21+
Shoes – Old Navy
Earrings – Jean Coutu
Revolucion Jewelry – Here

Fat Shaming

20140726-110127-39687720.jpg
Now, I don’t like to bring negativity to my blog. I’m always trying to stay positive and keep fighting the fight to take back the word FAT; but I need to address something today.

I recently shared a Daily Mail article on my Facebook page, about how women are fat-shamed three times a day – a sad reality.

The outpouring of comments that I received truly touched me, because so many of you have dealt with being humiliated based on your sizes, just as I have in the past.

I was tormented by my peers in grade school. I endured teasing, name calling, cow noises… You name it. And when I look back, the saddest part of it all was the brave face I had to show till I got home and could cry into my pillow.

I thought the bullying of my school days was behind me, until coincidentally, last night I was publicly, and directly FAT SHAMED, while enjoying one of my favourite unhealthy treats, poutine; and for those of you who aren’t familiar, it’s a sinful Quebec specialty, consisting of French fries smothered in gravy, and curd cheese – definitely not waistline friendly, but it’s my weakness. That and an ice cold Coke.

I posted about it on Facebook almost as soon as it happened, because I was just so taken aback by it that I felt an overwhelming need to share it with all of you.

As many of you know, I recently shared an article on fat shaming, and your wonderful, and heartbreaking comments blew me away and really touched my heart. I haven’t been TRULY made fun of in many years, and just tonight, while eating out (poutine of all things) a drunk jerk made waddling and fat belly gestures at me and yelled out “oh yeah, eat that poutine” (in French). I thought I would have been less humiliated than I was, in all honesty, and while I’m not upset, I was really embarrassed, and felt like finishing my food in my car. I didn’t, but the fact that I thought about going to hide to finish my meal makes me realize I still have a lot of work to do.

Just thought I would share…

It felt like elementary school all over again. That feeling of being mortified doesn’t change. Same anxious ball of stress in the pit of my stomach, same feeling of fighting back tears, same anger. I had forgotten what it felt like to be coldly, and deliberately humiliated. I’ve been embarrassed in other life situations, due to my size, the mortifying airplane seatbelt check, for one; and people have made comments or assumptions that have bothered me. “You really shouldn’t eat that”, or servers in restaurants asking me if I want Diet, when I odered a Coke – like, would you ask a skinny person that if she ordered it? Maybe, but when you ask me, I can feel your judgement as I say “no, a regular Coke, please”. Is it so unbelievable that I would want to treat myself to something that I love?

Now, I know that the server could have just been checking, to make sure she got my order right. And yes, it’s possible that it had nothing to do with my weight; but here’s the problem – fat shaming has now become so ingrained in people’s minds, that they do it unknowingly, without even realizing that they’ve been programmed to see us as weak, undisciplined, incompetent, and unworthy.

Big words, I know. And I’m sure my server had no idea how she was making me feel, and probably never thought of herself as someone who humiliated fat people, because society as a whole had told her that viewing me that way was normal.

The @#$hole last night, was doing it on purpose, his buddies snickering along with him, and I’m ashamed to admit it, but all I could do was look down and pretend I didn’t hear them.

Like is said, I still WE STILL have a lot of work to do, because through years of humiliation, we’ve learned to just accept being laughed at; and I know we’ve probably all been the victims of our own imaginations before, but the double takes in the street for eating an ice cream cone, or when you can’t fit in the booth at a restaurant and the other patrons can’t help but steal a second glance at the fat girl trying to squeeze in, the walk of shame to a different table as people whisper amongst themselves, they’re real. That @#$hole in the street – he was real.

But we’re real too; and we deserve to be treated just like everybody else.

Although I’m disappointed in myself for not speaking up last night, I know that I’ve come a long way. The journey continues, and I’m so thankful to have all of you, my amazing followers, alongside me for the ride!

Sexy Lips And A Fabulous Fatkini

20140714-162413-59053382.jpg
Well, I’ve been working up the courage to actually get out there and do a photo shoot in swimwear, and believe me, the struggle has been real! So real, that this amazing Sexy Lips midkini from swimsuitsforall.com has been sitting in a drawer since I purchased it at the beginning of the summer.

But I’ve been so inspired by bloggers like Garner Style, who rocked the hell out of a black and white bikini (and made me fall in love with round sunglasses & body chains and was totally the inspiration for my look today), as well as my amazing followers who are so confident and gorgeous, that it was about time that I face my fat girl fears, and do a photo shoot in my very own fatkini!!!

20140714-160911-58151996.jpg
I’ve paired it with two separate, but matching, black, sheer coverup pieces, which I love the idea of, because this way you can cover up less or more depending on the heat of the sun, or how cool the breeze is too. Also, it allows for a more modest option without sacrificing style, if, as was my experience at a beach resort in Haiti, you are required to cover up on top to go into a beachfront restaurant.

20140714-161104-58264390.jpg
No swimwear look would be complete without the right accessories, so I went with my favourite gold, metallic flip flops, big gold hoops, my bangles, (no surprise there) and this fantastic body chain from Forever 21 (note, this is not a plus size piece, so I removed the chain link that connected the two shoulder pieces in the back and replaced it with a longer chain for a better fit).

20140714-163513-59713800.jpg
It really took a lot for me to share these photos with all of you; and I only hope that I can inspire someone who, like me, felt that she wasn’t “perfect” enough to be seen this way. I hope to show that regardless of stretch marks, cellulite, and fat rolls, we can still be beautiful, confident, and enjoy a day at the beach, or an afternoon, poolside like me, in our own backyards, just as any other woman would.

20140714-162916-59356864.jpg

I’m truly am feeling fabulous and empowered in my fatkini and this definitely won’t be my last one!!!

20140714-163645-59805524.jpg
Thank you to all who’ve inspired me – this is something I never could have dreamed I would have been confident enough to share, and I feel AMAZING!!!

20140714-160328-57808433.jpg
Share your looks with me by tagging #flightofthefatgirl on your Instagram pics or email them to me at: flightofthefatgirl@gmail.com