Life is all about taking risks overcoming obstacles, and breaking through barriers… But when self-doubt starts seeping in through those little cracks that a lifetime of being ashamed of yourself has left behind, it can be much easier said than done.
I’m not saying this because I’m in the mood to dish out life advice, but because my self-doubting thoughts almost got the best of me last week, and I know that so many of you beautiful people struggle with your own body image too.
I receive comments from my followers all the time, about how much they wish they could have my confidence…
So, I really wanted to remind you all, that even the most confident, body positive people still have those moments when it’s hard to love themselves sometimes, and you are sooooo not alone on those days when you look in the mirror and feel like you’re just not good enough.
The confidence you see in my pictures didn’t happen overnight. It is an ongoing process, and I never want any of you to think that it is unattainable or unreachable in any way.
I woke up on the morning of my shoot. I had planned out my whole outfit. I had actually been really excited about it, because it had been a while since I wore something a little more risqué.
The look was made up of four of the most fabulous, sexy, and empowering pieces I own — a black, gold studded, bodycon mini dress from Stylzoo, a stunning chain headpiece from Ready To Stare, my amazing thigh high boots from SexyPlus, and the most incredible black satin bomber from SmarrGlamour, with custom lettering.
I began berating myself for having ever thought I could pull off such a sexy look. Who am I? A thirty-something, fat wife and mother looking like a hooker trying to show someone a good time…?
I fat shamed myself. I slut shamed myself… Two things that I am so strongly opposed to, and yet there I was, staring at my own reflection, picking myself apart and telling myself that I didn’t deserve to feel sexy, and that showing off my body somehow made me less valuable. I almost didn’t leave the house.
Then I thought of my Stylzoo dress, and how hard I have fought to love my legs and belly, and feel comfortable showing them off.
I thought of my boots from SexyPlus, and how fierce they made me feel the moment I stepped out in these first pair of thigh-highs I had ever found to fit my legs.
I thought of my headpiece from Ready To Stare, and how rad as hell it is, and how much of a sexy goddess it makes me feel.
And I thought of my bomber from SmartGlamour, and how excited I was when I was able to select the words “FAT GIRL” in big gold letters, to be displayed across the back, because I’m fat and proud of who I am!
The thought of how I had come so far to finally accept my body —myself, and feel good in the clothes I love, came flooding back, washing the doubt into oblivion.
And I decided, fuck what I think people might say about me, my body, and how I choose to dress it! I’m not going to let my self-doubt get in the way of me wearing the stuff I love, just because I’m worried about anyone’s judgement!!!
I went out and did my shoot on a busy street in late afternoon, looking fly as hell; and I just wanted all of you to know that even when you see my pictures and think it looks easy, I do still struggle with self-confidence, and I don’t ever want any of you to feel alone in that!
The important thing to remember, and I hope I can be an example of it, is never to forget how far you’ve come — how hard you’ve worked toward self-acceptance, or how badly you want it. You deserve to love yourself, and that’s what will bring you back to reality — and that reality is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that YOU ARE WORTHY.
Dress, Stylzoo – here
Customizable Bomber Jacket, SmartGlamour – here
Headpiece, Ready To Stare – here
Boots, SexyPlus Clothing – here
Every year I get really excited about fall fashion — the layering, the boots, the rich, deep colours, and did I mention the layering?
Navy blue will forever be one of my favourite fall shades. It offers all the benefits of wearing black (and no, I’m not talking “flattering,” I’m talking versatility), while actually bringing a little colour to the table.
This navy wrap dress from Stylzoo is total perfection! It hugs my curves beautifully, and I’m seriously feeling the sexy V neckline!
I decided to be bold and pick up on the tones in the lining of my boots, and accessorize with my emerald green Kate Spade Clutch, silver and pastel blue earrings, and my most daring lippie yet, a deep teal/green shade called Dr. M, from ColourPop Cosmetics!
I love how refreshing the mix of classic and edgier elements turned out to be!
Armed with great pieces like my Stylzoo wrap dress, and adventurous lipstick shades like this one, I am definitely fall fashion ready!
Dress, Stylzoo – here
Blazer, Penningtons- sold out online, may still be available in store
Lippie, ColourPop Cosmetics- here
By now, most of you know that the 16th (errr… 21st?) of every month means it’s time for the French Curves Challenge – an outfit photo challenge with the French touch, created by the fabulous, Vanoue, of The Curvy and Curly Closet!
The theme this month: BOYISH!!!
As always, an English translation will follow, so if French isn’t your forte, just scroll on down!
Comme d’habitude, en raison de circonstances imprévues (avouons-le, je serais probablement quand même en retard même si les circonstances étaient prévus), je suis un peu en retard !
Aujourd’hui, la plupart d’entre vous savent que le 16 (euh … Le 21 ?) De chaque mois signifie qu’il est temps pour le French Curves Challenge, crée par la fabuleuse Vanoue, de The Curvy and Curly Closet !
Le thème ce mois: BOYISH !!!
J’adore le look androgyne. J’aime la façon dont le style vient jouer avec les idées préconçues des gens, et brouille les frontières du genre. Alors le thème de “boyish” ce mois-ci m’a captivé instantanément !
Je me sens vraiment sexy et forte quand je porte des vêtements avec un look masculin.
Par contre, j’aime toujours ajouter des petites touches féminines dans le mélange aussi, juste pour tromper du monde!
Alors, pour mon look boyish, j’ai choisi ma salopette préférée provenant d’Addition Elle, un super cute crop top en motif extra terrestre de Chubby Cartwheels, avec une veste en denim à manches en molleton de Penningtons.
J’ai tellement adoré mon look, que ça m’a donné envie de montrer mon ventre, sans aucune raison à part du fait que je me sentais bien dans ma peau dans cette tenue !
Assurez-vous de jeter un coup d’œil à tous les superbe looks boyish de les autres French Curvettes ici, ainsi que sur Facebook, et Instagram aussi ! Et n’oubliez pas d’utiliser le hashtag #FrenchCurvesOOTD et #FlightOfTheFatGirl !!!
I love the androgynous look. I love how it messes with people’s preconceived notions and blurs the lines of gender. So this month’s “boyish” theme captivated me instantly!
I feel really sexy and strong when I wear masculine looking clothing.
However, I like to throw a few feminine touches into the mix too, just to mess with people!
So, for my boyish look, I chose my fave pair of overalls, from Addition Elle, a super cute alien head crop top from Chubby Cartwheels, with a great jean jacket with French terry sleeves from Penningtons.
For accessories, my pretty, pointy Coach loafers in a neutral colour, a very chic little clutch, and some gold bling.
I loved my look so much that it made me want to show off mah belly, for no other reason than the fact that I felt good in my skin in this outfit!
Be sure to check out the awesomely boyish looks of all the other French Curvettes here, as well as on Facebook, and Instagram too!!! Don’t forget to use the hashtags #FrenchCurvesOOTD and #FlightOfTheFatGirl!!!
Veste en denim, Penningtons – ici
Jean jacket, Penningtons- here
5 years ago, I probably would have laughed in your face if you told me that one day I’d be saying that my VBO (visible belly outline) is sexy. And like, not just an uncomfortable giggle… I mean, a full on, straight from the gut, you-must-be-off-your-rocker kind of laugh.
Who knew I would ever be able to utter the words “I love my belly” without resentful sarcasm!? I certainly never would have believed it — but here I am, looking at my soft, protruding, B-belly, like, “dammmmn!!!” *wink/weirdly opened mouth/awkward head nod*
I’m not about to shout from the rooftops that I’ll never wear shapewear again, because I do still love the look and feel of a tight, somewhat smooth bod under my clothes sometimes, and there’s nothing wrong with that…
But, I will say this: I am never going to be uncomfortable displaying my belly when and how I please, because I don’t need to hide it to feel sexy!!! It’s soft, round, and jiggles when I walk, but so do my boobs and my butt, and I love those! So it’s time to embrace the final curve!!!
These amazing, faux leather trimmed leggings and black mesh top from SexyPlus are so gorgeous!!! They’re the perfect pieces for a night out dancing, or for casually layering, as I’ve done under this beautiful kimono from Zelie For She.
Paired with some simple grey flats, silver accessories, and a fabulous felt hat from Addition Elle this summer, the all black pieces underneath give amazing detail and texture to the whole look!
Mesh top, SexyPlus Clothing – here (on sale!!!)
Leggings, SexyPlus Clothing – similar
Duster, Zelie For She – similar
Hat, Addition Elle – here
Shoes, Walmart – similar
I’m 100% body positive. I love my fat peeps, my skinny peeps, my short, tall, black, white, and everything-in-between peeps! I truly believe that every body is beautiful in its own unique way.
I’ve been fat my whole life. Even when I was suffering from anorexia and bulimia, and had shed over 100 lbs. In my mind, I was still fat.
It took me a hell of a lot of hard work to learn that I was worth loving. The fact that I truly believe it is something I’m proud of, because that realization may come easily to some, but it didn’t for me.
When somebody tries to take that kind of self-love away from me, or from anyone — I get angry.
Crop top, Flaws of Couture – here
Skirt, Eloquii – here
Clutch, Aldo – similar
Shoes, Payless – here
PS. Here are a few things I find beautiful, from an abandoned building, one of my favourite places to shoot!
Today I’m going to talk about boobs. Yes. Boobs… Boobs and sun.
I was born and raised in Montreal – a city where for a good chunk of the year, the air is so cold it literally hurts your face…
We don’t have palm trees, there are no pineapple plants, and our beaches certainly don’t resemble the white sands & turquoise waves of the Caribbean; but for a few months each summer, we do have sun, and I think, from living in a climate of extremes, we know how to appreciate it better than most!
We swim, we camp, we fish, we bask… Not much keeps us inside in the summertime. After all, we’ve waited months to actually go out without freezing our arses off, right?
And while it isn’t officially summer just yet, the sun is definitely shining down on us, and its warm glow has gotten me feeling kind of frisky!
I know what you’re all thinking… When’s she gonna get to the boobs?
So instead of me getting to them, I’m bringing the boobs to you! Bam!!!
Now if you know me at all, you know that going braless (and often pantless) is far from being a rare occurrence for me, as long as I’m at home or able to throw a winter coat over it, but going visibly braless is public is not something I’m used to.
So when I wore this incredibly elegant and whimsical, sheer maxi dress from the new Zelie For She, Island Vibes collection, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and flaunt my braless titayyys, because boobs are amazing!!!
At first I felt shy. I felt that familiar wave of self-questioning panic wash over me… But after a few moments (and some encouraging words from my loving husband/photographer for the day) I told myself, fuck it! I don’t need to wear a bra to please anyone but myself, and ruining the gorgeous neckline of this dress will make me sad, so screw the bra (at least for today)! My tits are free!!!
Sure I got winked at by an old man on a bike with spectacular calves (which I’m not going to lie, was a bit of a confidence booster even if he was old enough to be my grandpa).
But, I felt sexy and alive – my breasts, which have fed my four babies, been pillows for my husband, are to me, symbols of my womanhood. They are truly miraculous entities (or should I say, en-titties), and are nothing to be ashamed of.
They’re no longer perky, they have stretch marks, and imperfections – but they’re mine, and they’re beautiful… And I will never let self-consciousness stop me from being a braless goddess again when I feel like it, especially under the warm sun!
Dress, Zelie For She – here
Shoes, Aldo – old, but love these
I remember when I first really noticed a woman in a maxi dress. It was sometime during the mid 2000s, and she had “the perfect body” (or at least the body I hadn’t realized yet, wasn’t the only kind anyone thought was beautiful). I’m sure I had seen others before her, sashaying about in ankle-length dresses, but this girl just caught my attention. In my still unaccepting-of-my-own-body mind, she was everything I wished I could be. Slim, large-breasted, beautiful, and she seemed to almost float along in that long, flowy dress like nothing else mattered but her and the breeze that lifted her hem every now and again, to reveal her ultra chic gladiator sandals, and perfect pedicure…
She was noticeable, right down to her bohemian, beaded necklace, and bangles that slid all the way up her slender arms, to her elbows when she lifted her hand to brush the hair from her face.
I realize now, all these years later, that what I was so captivated by wasn’t this girl’s seemingly perfect silhouette, but rather, her confidence.
I never would have guessed then, that I could feel as good as she looked in that dress… I never could have imagined that her intoxicating vibe was something that I could have for my very own… But now I see it. Now, finally after all these years, I love my body, and when I step out the door in a gorgeous maxi dress, I know I look just as striking as she did. I know I walk with the same ease and carelessness as I remember her doing so well… And I know others see it too.
See, it’s not about having the perfect body. It’s not about having slim arms, or large breasts. None of those things will ever give you the intangible quality that I couldn’t quite pin down, until I experienced what self-love truly was for myself.
That woman felt beautiful, and that’s what drew me to her. I feel beautiful, and that’s what was shining through when I wore this stunning maxi from SexyPlus Clothing.
Once I stepped into it, I didn’t want to take it off, so I decided to take my look from day to night!
For daytime, I paired it with pretty, embellished sandals, sunnies, a straw hat, gold bangles (of course) and my Lilly Pulitzer for Target straw bag (my only score from the great Lilly for Target fiasco/triumph).
And for my evening look, I switched out my sandals, hat, and beach bag for a cute pair of cork wedges, a vintage clutch, a great necklace, and a fab black tuxedo style bolero from SexyPlus, and headed off for a date night with my hubby!
Maxi dresses are super versatile, and really transition well from day to evening. This particular one is so fun, because it combines animal print and paisley, for a really fun combination of wild and classic.
Just a little note, I actually sized down in this dress, as it is made very generously, but I would recommend ordering your usual size if you’re particularly boobalicious (which I’m not). I have very big hips, and as you can see, even when sizing down, the cut is roomy.
So, while I must admit, I still yearn for a set of bangles that can actually slide all the way up to my elbows (seriously, where can I get some of those?)… I feel pretty f*cking fabulous in this dress!!!
I can say with a huge degree of certainty, that if I had known then, back when I first saw that woman looking effortlessly cool in her maxi, that the greatest detail of her outfit was her confidence, my life would have gone a lot differently… But the important thing is that one fine day, I did learn her secret. I did start to love myself, and now, I can rock a maxi like nobodies business, and it feels glorious!!!
Because you’re all so amazing, please use, code FREEFLIGHT to get free shipping from SexyPlus from now till May 25th 2015! Don’t miss out! This dress is still available in this print, as well as in a couple of others!!!